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Dirty jokes

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Why isn't there a pregnant barbie doll? Answer: Because Ken came in another box.
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I'm not saying she's a sluт, but if she advertised on tv, it would be called a nymphomercial.
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Wanna play guns? Bend over and I'll соск you.
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What's the difference between Yo' Mama and a hotel?
Nothing. They both specialize in serving out of town businessmen.
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Yo' Mama is like McDonald's: over 90 billion served.
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A boy asks his father, how do you spell vаginа?
The father says you should of asked me last night, I had it on the tip of my tongue.
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Did you hear about the gаy security guard who got fired from his job at the sреrм bank? He got caught drinking on the job.
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I’m not saying my ex is a slаg but if c*cks could fly her mouth would be an airport.
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This guy decides to join the Navy. On his first day aboard his assigned ship, he gets acquainted with all the facilities around the ship he will be serving on. The guy asks the sailor showing him around,
“Ah, um, what do you guys do here when you get really hоrny after months of being out at sea?”, to which the other sailor replies,
“Well, there is a barrel on the upper deck, just put your johnson through the side with the вunghоlе.”
Well, weeks pass, and the new guy is getting really hоrny and remembers the barrel. He climbs to upper deck and sees the barrel. He pulls his turgid manhood out and shoves it into the barrel, where a pair of warm lips encircle it. It is simply the best feeling he had ever experienced, truly a success!
After he was done, he zipped up and merrily walked away. Day after day, he takes advantage of the delights of the barrel.
One morning, he places Mister Happy in the barrel and nothing happens. He tries a few minutes later … nothing. A few minutes later there is a small but increasing lineup of sailors who also wish to use the “facility.”
Then, along comes the guy who originally told him about the barrel.
“That barrel really is great! But today, nothing is happening!”
To which the other crew member replies,
“Yeah, that’s because today is your turn in the barrel, all day.”
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Im not that good in algebra but I know that I+U=69
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Me: *watching a kdrama*
Bro: *takes 10 bananas to eat*
Me: Why do you gotta take all that..?
Bro: To make my diск longer! *smirks*
Me: Wтf-
- In school, at health class-
Teacher: Can someone raise their hand and tell me a fun fact about boys?
Me: *raises hand*
Teacher: Yes, go on.
Me: Boys eat bananas to make their diск longer...
Class: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Teacher: Lia, please sit back down, I'll need to see you after class!!
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Sluт: I like happiness inside me.
You: Where the fuск did the "hap" come from?
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A man in a butcher shop:
"I would like bull testicles please."
Butcher:
"Me too."
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