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Dirty jokes

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Found my first grey рuвiс hair today… It was in a kebab!
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Hey The Sluт King, do you prefer sitting on a cake and eating a соск or sitting on a соск eating a cake?
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Timmy: Mom where's the thingy
Mom: What thingy?
Timmy: umm-it's-uh... oh it's long and sometimes it gets hard
Mom: Okay. go on...
Timmy: you can suск it
Mom: ?
Timmy: And liск it...
Mom: o_o
Timmy: It tastes really good
Mom: Son where did you learn this fro-
(*Timmy interrupts)
Timmy: wait, it also has a wrapping kind of object
Mom: O_O
Timmy: the wrappish object tells you which flavor it is.
Mom: Timmy liste-
Timmy: no no no wait, it also gets wet.
Mom: ... Son are you talking about your peni-
(*door slams open)
Selena: Mom where are the popsicles, me and Timmy was looking for it.
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I'm like, 'Honey, I don't know how else to put it. I just want to make sweet love to my wife. I don't know what else to say or do, just please, please come with me to the bedroom. Oh hey, check it out, what's that on the pillow? Is that a crisp $20 bill?'
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If we were stranded in a desert and a snake bit my реnis, would you suск the poison out?
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I missed the 70s. That's what I hear, that it was one big ski weekend. From what I hear, this was a good pick-up line in the 1970s:
'Come on, let's go.'
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My new girlfriend from Thailand said that having a small diск is no problem. I really like her but I think I’d still prefer it if she didn’t have one.
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A recent scientific study has found that 9/10 men prefer big воовs. The other man prefers the 9 men.
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I always wear my hard hat, baby.
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Why does a woman pierce her belly button?
So she can hang an air freshner from it.
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Twinkle twinkle little whore
Close your legs your not a door
People like you cause your free
I'ma laugh my аss off when you get an std
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I got fired from the sреrм factory
For drinking on the job.
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She has a change of heart. She goes, 'OK, I'll have a three-way -- you, me and another girl -- but afterwards, you better seriously consider proposing to me.' So I said alright, sounded fair. So we had the three-way, and like a month later, she goes, 'Hey, aren't you gonna pop the question?' And I said, 'Hey, I gotta be honest with you. I'm not that comfortable marrying a lеsвiаn.'
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Q. What’s the only living оrgаn inside a corpse?
A. My dick
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Would you like some warm nuts?
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A dog's еrестiоn looks exactly like lipstick, but it sure doesn't taste like it.
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Real life:
Oh no, she's feint. Better help her...
Hentai/Роrn:
Oh no, she's feint. But that massive тiтs tho...
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Q. Why are women like cars?
A. Because sometimes you have to use a choke to get them going.
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