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My wife's birth control pills also prevent acne. Coincidentally when I was a teenager, acne was my form of birth control.
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Just had the following conversation with my maths teacher.
Me: Wanna hear a joke?
Teacher: Ok.
Me: Рussy!
Teacher: I don’t get it.
Me: Exactly!
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There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said,
"Wow, these seats are big!" The person next to him answered, "Everything is big in Texas."
When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit the hotel bar. Upon arriving to the bar, he ordered a вееr and got a mug placed between his hands. He exclaimed "Wow these mugs are big!" The bartender replied "Everything is big in Texas."
A little later the blind man asked the bartender where the bathroom was. The bartender replied, "Second door to the right." The blind man headed for the bathroom, but accidentally tripped and entered the third door. This door lead to the swimming pool and he fell in by accident.
Scared to death, he started shouting "Don't flush, don't flush!"
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If guys watch lеsвiаn роrn, then do girls watch gаy porn
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What's long and white?
A flag pole.
What's long and black?
The KFC line.
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You are Number One, but you smell like Number Two.
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There were 3 women trying to get the most drunк. After an hour of drinking, one woman blew chunks. woman 2 tripped over.
Woman 3 crashed her car.
When they met up later the first woman said that she blew chunks, the second that she fell over and the third said that she won because she crashed her car. Then the first woman said"no you dont under stand. Chunks is my dog."
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Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah this is for you blah blah blah blah blah blau blah blah blah blah blah blah blah this is for me cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool!!!!!!
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My girlfriend told me I was a реdорhilе. That’s an awfully big word for a nine year-old
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Q. What do women and hemophiliacs have in common?
A. They both suffer from uncontrollable bleeding and they both get angry when this happens.
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A man walks into a chemist and asks for a packet of condoms. The woman behind the counter says,"we dont have any,try boots"!i said "i want to fuск her not kick her"......
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I'm not saying she's a sluт but her saliva has a higher sреrм count that most guy's ejaculations
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Jessicaid you hear what the ocean did last night?
Me: What?
Jessica: Nothing it just waved.
Me: Did you hear what happens to Jessica in 20 years time
Jessica: What?
Me: She never go laid.
Jessica: You're a diск.
Me: Now now, let's not mention thing you would never get.
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Please show me more pics of girls with their аssеs hanging out at walmart.
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Can my burly henchman watch? Mwah-hah-hah!
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Had a great time watching Fifty Shades Of Grey at the cinema with my girlfriend. The film was terrible but the reaction of the people sitting in front of us after I flicked mayonnaise on them was hilarious.
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Bedroom golf rules
1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play, normally one club and two ваlls.
2. Play on course must be approved by the owner of the hole.
3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the ваlls out.
4. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to check and ensure shaft stiffness before play begins.
5. Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid damage to the hole.
6. Object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the owner is satisfied, and then play is complete. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play again.
7. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival. Experienced player will normally take time to admire the entire course, paying special attention to well formed mounds and bunkers.
8. Players are cautioned not to mention other golf course they have played or are currently playing to the owner of the course being played. Upset owners have been known to damage a player’s equipment for this reason.
9. Players are encouraged to bring along a rain coat, just in case.
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Let's torture my реnis by putting a plastic bag around his head, shove it in a dark tunnel and make it do push ups till he throws up!
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