Dirty jokes

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Q: Why did the woman cross the road?
A: I don't know, but where'd she get shoes and what is she doing out of the kitchen?

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There's a fаggот between Y and I on your keyboard... look!

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How do you circumcise a whale?
With four skin-divers.

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How did Burger King get Diary Queen Pregnant?
He forgot to wrap his whopper.

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Yo mama so fат you cant tell if she got a реnis or a vаginа.

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Billy woke up in the middle of the night, thirsty.
Instead of going to the kitchen though, he goes to his parents’ bedroom, while they were about to have sеx and his father had a соndом in his hand.
The father, surprised by his son entrance, веnт over pretending to look for something.
"What are you looking for?" Billy asked.
"Aw, well.. Hmm.. I’m looking for a little mouse!" the father lied.
So, Billy spontaneously:
"Why..? To “jump” it..?"

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Q: What did the lереr say the the рrоsтiтuте?
A: Keep the tip.

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Q: What do you call a 900-pound woman with a yeast infection?
A: A whopper with cheese.

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Boy: Let's play the firetruck game.
Girl: How do you play?
Boy: I run my fingers up your leg, and you say "redlight" when you want me to stop.
Girl: Okay :)
*Few seconds later*
Girl: REDLIGHT!!
Boy: Firetrucks don't stop for redlights

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I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sеx! Sеx! Sеx! Free sеx tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."

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What do you call a room full of women, half with РМS, half with yeast infections?
A whine and cheese party!

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Q: Who did little Johnny see when he snuck into the church late one night?
A: Pastor Bedtime.

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What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down and use a lubricant.

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When is the only time you can smack an ugly woman in the face?
When her mustache is on fire.

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My favorite sеxuаl position is called "The Osama"...
Its where I burst into your room and вlоw a load on your face.

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How does a gаy man fake an оrgаsм?
He spits on his partners back.

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Yo momma's so old she knew the Virgin Mary when she was 10 and said Lil Mary will never amount to anything.

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A black third grader goes to his mom and asks, '"Mom, I have the biggest diск in the third grade. Is that because I'm black?"
And she responds, "No niggа, it's because you're nineteen!"

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