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Dirty jokes

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The truck driver stopped to picked up the girl hitchhiker in short shorts. "Say, what's your name, mister? " she inquired, after she climbed up in the truck. "It's Snow, Roy Snow," he answered, "and what's yours? "I'm June, June Hansen," she said. "Hey, why do you keep sizing me up with those sidelong glances? " she challenged the trucker some miles down the road. "Can you imagine what it might be like," he countered with a question of his own, "Having eight inches of Snow in June? "
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Black ops 2 dirтy joke for a girl:
I get more first bloods than a seventh grade girls bathroom!
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A poem you never want to get from an ex.
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
I enjoyed our screw
But i gave you сrавs too...
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There was a реnis and an orange they were arguing about whose life is the worst the orange said "my life is the worst because i get pealed and eaten" and the реnis said "my life is the worst because i get a bag put over my head and forced to do push-ups until i am sick"
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Their was four women right? and they all had a counsling session together. it was a class for addictions. so the coulsler guy turns to the group. " ok all of your addictions reflect in the name of your child." he looks at the first lady... your addicted to money theirfor your doughters name is penny. he turns to the second one. your addicted to food, and so your doughers name is kandi, he turns to the third one, and your adicted to метh, and ur doughters name is cristal, then he turns to the fourth women, and before he could say a word the lady stands up and says stop. then she grabs her sons hand and begins to leave... "c'mon diск were leaving".
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New STD called "feelings", Don't catch that shiт.
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It only takes 3.5 inches to please a woman. It doesn't matter if its visa or master card.
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You deserve a hаndjов from Edward Scissorhands.
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A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.
"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.
I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart аss guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked,
"What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sеxuаl exhaustion?"
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering.
When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
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You: do you like tapes and CD's?
Friend: ya why?
You: good because you're going to CD's nuts when I tape my diск to your face!
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Roses are red
Nuts are brown
Skirts go up
Pants go down
Body to body Skin to skin
When its stiff
Stick it in
The Longer its in
The Stronger it gets
It goes in dry And comes out wet
It comes out dripping And starts to sag
Its not what you think......
Its a Teabag
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I hate auto correct; accidentally sent my grandmother a text saying "sеx tomorrow?" I meant today...
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What do gаy guys and boats have in common?
A but load of see men!
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So, a kid happens to see his mom nакеd and asks, pointing to her vаginа, "What is that?" The mom replies,
"That is my house." She responds. A little while later the kid sees his dad nакеd and asks the same question. "Well, son, that is the Big Bad Wolf," responds the dad. Some time goes bye and the kid goes into his parents bedroom, while they are amidst sеx. "Hey mom," pipes the kid, "watch out! I think the Big Bad Wolf just walked into your house and shot the piggie!"
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When girls be like, "SUСК MY DIСК!" Everybody laughs, but when boys yell, "EAT MY РUSSУ!" Shiт gets awkward.
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Which оrgаn in the female body remains warm after death? My соск.
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Guy- hey wanna play house? cuz u could be the door and ill slam ya
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Their is a guy at the bar, and he sees this hot chick at a table and goes up to her and orders drinks for themselves. After a few drinks, the girl and guy head back to the guys place.
After the two are done making out, they girl gets completely undressed immediately. The guy however, takes off his shirt, washes his hands, takes off his pants and washes his hands, takes off his shoes and socks and washes his hands.
The girl then says "You must be a dentist" The guy reply's "Well, yeah I actually am a dentist, how did you know?" The girl then reply's "You wash you hands after every time you take your cloths off". They then have sеx and after they are all done, the girl then says "You must be a really good dentist". The guy bragging then says "Well, yeah I guess I am a really good dentist, how did you know?" Then the girl says "I didn't feel a thing".
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