Dirty jokes

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The catholic church teaches to swallow before you chew. george margevicious learned this the hard way.

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Save electricity!
How would you like it if someone turned you on then left.

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Middle schoolers 10 years ago: the wheels on the bus go round and round. Round and round.
Middle schoolers now: me diск in her pussey goes in and out. In and out.

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Your вrеаsтs remind me of Mount Rushmore - my face should be among them.

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Let's have a party and invite your pants to come on down.

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Somebody tell me how "Rub a dub dub, 3 men in a tub" became a nursery rhyme?

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Girl: How much do you love me?
Boy: E,F,G,H,I,J,K
Girl: What does that mean?
Boy: Entertaining, Gorgeous, Hot, Intelligent
Girl: What does J, K, mean?
Boy: Just Kidding Вiтсh!
Girl:
- _-

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From now on, instead of saying "you're welcome". I'm gonna start saying "you're whalecum".

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Why is аnаl sеx like a microwave?
Both can brown your meat without cooking it

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Little johny and little april went to sunday school on sunday and little april always fell asleep but one time the the teacher called on her and asked who is our creator little johny took a pin and stuck her in the вuтт and she woke up and said god all mighty and the teacher says right and then she falls back asleep then the teacher called on her again and who is our savior little johny pocked her in the вuтт again and she woke up again and said jesus сhrisт then the teacher says right then she falls back asleep and then the teacher calls on her again and asked what did eve say to adam when she had her 23rd child and little johny poked her in the вuтт and she woke up again and she said if u stick that thing in me one more f*cking time i break it in two and shove it up ur ass

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Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is.

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Friend 1: Hey, Are you allowed in your moms room?
Friend 2: Yeah. why?
Friend 1: Good, can you grab my pants?

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If she is still able to walk to the kitchen after sеx, you don't deserve a f*cking sandwich.

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Sеx is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.

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69% of people will automatically find what's wrong with this sentence.

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True Fact #69
Immaturity is the best.

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Gаy marriage and straight marriage are like Вrа's and Bikini Tops... Really the same, but one is acceptable in public.

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Guy 1: Where were you last night when I called? I heard my mom choking.
Guy 2: Well this is awkward.

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