Drug Jokes

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Yo mama so dumb, she thought seaweed was something that fish smoked.

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I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen.

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Sleep is my drug….my bed is my dealer and my alarm clock is the police.

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Marijuana is the gateway drug to taking 45 minutes to pick out which color Gatorade you want to buy.

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If there was someone selling drugs in this place, wееd know.

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If my puns are cheesy, then they would go well with crackers.

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Man: I know how to please a woman.
Woman: Then please leave me alone.
Man: I want to give myself to you.
Woman: Sorry, I don’t accept cheap gifts.
Man: Your hair color is fabulous.
Woman: Thank you. It’s on aisle three at the corner drug store.
Man: You look like a dream.
Woman: Go back to sleep.
Man: I can tell that you want me.
Woman: Yes, I want you to leave.
Man: Hey, baby, what’s your sign?
Woman: Do not enter. -OR- Stop.
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.
Man: What’s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?
Woman: I hate you.
Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.

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I had a friend named Mari. Sadly she did drugs. So one day I go up to her and say “Mari-juana do this???” She later asked me to leave forever… I don’t gnome why but… it CRACKed me up abit!!!

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What if little johnny was doing drugs?
johnny johnny? yes papa? eating sugar? no papa…

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What do kids and drugs have in common ,
I sell both of the

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your daddy must be a drug dealer because your dope

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Gf- You are a drug.
Bf- Why cause you are addicted to me?
Gf- No, because you are number one most wanted in Montana.

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