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Drug Jokes
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Newest jokes
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A boxer is whining to the doctor that he can’t sleep.
I won’t give you any drugs, you don’t need any.
Use the classical method, the one with counting the sheep’s.
I tried.
But, every time I get to 9 I jump off the bed.
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Charlie Sheen can achieve recovery by taking a drug called Chuck Norris.
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Charlie Sheen is a drug, it will melt your face and кill you.
Chuck Norris had two 8-Ваlls of Sheen and is now suing for false advertising.
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Why are white people called crackers.
Because they use to сrаск that whip on those niggеrs.
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After some time I saw my doctor and he prescribed me a receipt, but he had prescribed me this receipt in the name of his mother Mrs. Ingrid, by mistake.
I didn´t notice it, took this receipt, went to the drug-store, gave the receipt to the pharmacist together with the insurance card with the name John on it.
The pharmacist took a look at me and has told me:
"Dear, Mrs. Ingrid the name on the receipt doesn´t correspond with the name on the insurance card."
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This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
Yes.
And in what ways does it affect your memory?
I forget.
You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?
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How did the sand get wet?
The sea wееd!
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If you say "alright" in the mirror 3 times Matthew McConaughey will appear and hand you a joint.
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How do you suffocate a niggеr?
Tell him there's wееd inside the pillowcase.
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A drunк man was smoking drugs while driving.
The policeman stop him and says,
"Show me you ID?"
The drunк man, "What drugs?"
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What does a cooked chicken and a stoner who is afraid of everything have in common?
They are both baked chickens.
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You: Say “addicted” after everything I say.
Person: Uh okay.
You: When you’re obsessed with candy you are…?
Person: Addicted.
You: When you’re obsessed with drugs you are…?
Person: Addicted.
You: What hit you in the face last night?
Person: Addicted… laughs
(It’s supposed to sound like “A diск did”)
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Gf- You are a drug.
Bf- Why cause you are addicted to me?
Gf- No, because you are number one most wanted in Montana.
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your daddy must be a drug dealer because your dope
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Doctor (to an absent-minded patient):
"What is wrong with you?"
Patient:
"I am losing my memory. Please prescribe some medicine."
Doctor (Handing him the prescription after a while):
"Here, Take this."
Patient:
"Why are you giving me this prescription? I am perfectly all right."
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What do kids and drugs have in common ,
I sell both of the
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What if little johnny was doing drugs?
johnny johnny? yes papa? eating sugar? no papa…
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I had a friend named Mari. Sadly she did drugs. So one day I go up to her and say “Mari-juana do this???” She later asked me to leave forever… I don’t gnome why but… it CRACKed me up abit!!!
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