Fitness jokes

Add a joke Newest jokes Most popular

Doctor:
"Yes, what is it I can do for you?"
Blond:
"Doctor, yesterday, when I was doing my yoga, one of my friends told me that if I did this particular exercise, all my body’s blood would go into my head. But, when I stand, why doesn’t anyone say that all the blood would go into the legs?"
Doctor:
"The fact’s your legs are not that hollow as your head is."

30

0

At one Army base, the annual trip to the rifle range had been canceled for the second year in a row, but the semi-annual physical fitness test was still on as planned.
One soldier mused, “Does it bother anyone else that the Army doesn’t seem to care how well we can shoot, but they are extremely interested in how fast we can run?”

29

0

I forgot to post on Facebook I was going to the gym.
Now this whole workout was a waste of time.

29

0

When Chuck Norris first saw Dragon Ball Z he thought it was a series of easy workout videos.

28

0

What is height of Activelaziness?
Asking for a lift to house while on a morning walk.

27

0

Q: Why did the bodybuilder cross the road?
A: He didn't. There's no walking on leg day.

26

0

No time for gym?
Please tell me how you watch 3 hours of TV every night.

26

0

Chuck Norris leaves potholes when he jogs.

26

0

Chuck Norris can do push-ups in a sit-up position.

26

0

Chuck Norris only works out once a year... that's about all the gym equipment can take.

25

0

In the dim and distant past, when life's tempo wasn't so fast, Grandma used to rock and knit, Crochet, tat and babysit.
When the kids were in a jam, they could always call on Gram.
However, today she's in the gym exercising to keep slim.
She's checking the web or surfing the net, sending some e-mail or placing a bet.
Nothing seems to stop or block her, now that Grandma's off her rocker.

25

0

When Chuck Norris works out, he doesn't sweat.
His body cries.

25

0

Q: Why did Arnold Schwarzenegger train on a desert island?
A: He wanted maximum isolation.

23

0

The movie Unstoppable is based on Chuck Norris' morning jog.

21

0

Chuck Norris is so tough, that he doesn't get a workout from the weights,they get a workout from him.

20

0

Chuck Norris has only used the 'Total Gym' twice in his life.
When his eyes are open - and when they are closed.

18

0

I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits.
He said, "How flexible are you?"
I said, "I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays."

17

0

A classic Tommy Cooper gag "I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?"
He said, "How flexible are you?"
I said, "I can't make Tuesdays", was fifth.

7

0