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Вицове за Диети и отслабванеВи...
Obesity, Diets and Weight Loss...
Witze über Übergewicht. Witze ...
Chistes de dietas, Bromas sobr...
Анекдоты про Фитнес, Диеты и П...
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I weighed myself today.
It is clear I am too small for my weight.
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What do you do for exercise?
I lift weights.
What do you do for cardio?
I lift weights faster.
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Студент е на изпит по логика. Професорът го извиква и пита:
O Joãozinho pergunta para a professora:
En un avion van 500 ladrillos y se cae 1
Comment met-on un éléphant dans un frigo en 3 mouvements ?
Comment met-on un éléphant dans un frigo en 3 mouvements ? - On ouvre le frigo - On met l'éléphant dans le frigo. - On referme la porte.Comment met-on une girafe dans un frigo en 4 mouvements ? - On ouvre le frigo. - On enlève l'éléphant. - On met la girafe. - On referme la porte.Comment...
One day on a plane there were 100 bricks and one fell off. How many are left? 99 What are the three steps to putting a giraffe in the fridge? 1. open the fridge 2. put the giraffe in 3.close the fridge What are the 4 steps to putting a rhino in the fridge? 1. open the fridge 2. take out the...
Hvordan får man en elefant ind i et køleskab ? Man åbner køleskabet og sætter elefanten ind. Hvodan får man en giraf ind i et køleskab ? Man åbner køleskabet og tager elefanten ud og sætter...
Como se coloca uma girafa dentro do frigorífico? 1. Abre-se a porta. 2. Tira-se o elefante. 3. Coloca-se a girafa. 4. Fecha-se a porta.
Time for a story: There are 500 bricks on a plane
Hvordan putter man en elefant i kjøleskapet? Svar: Man åpner døra
Como se coloca um elefante no frigorifico? Abre-se a porta do VolksWagen
Йде іспит. Професор: — На борту літака 500 цеглин. Одна цеглина випала з літака. Скільки на борту залишилося цеглин? — Ну
- Ile ruchów trzeba wykonać
Joãosinho pergunta para pedrinho: Pedrinho
Miten norsu saadaan jääkaappiin? - Avataan jääkaapin ovi
Шефот: Имаш 50 цигли во авион
Lentokoneessa on 503 tiiltä. Yksi niistä tippuu lentokoneesta ulos. Montako tiiltä lentokoneessa on jäljellä? - 502 Okei. Miten voit laittaa Elefantin jääkaappiin? - Avaamalla sen ja sitten laittaa...
Student: 503 bricks are on a plane. 1 falls off. How many are left?
Teacher: 502.
Student: How do you put an elephant in a fridge?
Teacher:No you can’t fit an elephant in a fridge!!
Student: Just open door, put elephant in, close door.
Student: How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?
Teacher: open door,put giraffe in, close door
Student: no! Open door, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close door.
Student: The Lion King is having a B-day party. All the animals are there, except one. Which one?
Teacher: let me guess the lion?
Student: No!The giraffe because He’s in a fridge.
Teacher: WOW!
Student: Sally has to get across a large river home to many alligators. They are very dangerous, but Sally swims across safely. How?
Teacher: Sally stepped on the alligators mouth?
Student:The gators are at the party.
Student: But Sally dies anyway. Why?
Teacher:She drowned?!
Student: no! She got hit in the head by a flying brick.
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When Chuck Norris finishes his workout, the gym takes a break.
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At the airport for a business trip, I settled down to wait for the boarding announcement at Gate 35.
Then I heard the voice on the public address system saying, "We apologize for the inconvenience, but Delta Flight 570 will board from Gate 41."
So my family picked up our luggage and carried it over to Gate 41.
Not ten minutes later the public address voice told us that Flight 570 would in fact be boarding from Gate 35.
So, again, we gathered our carry-on luggage and returned to the original gate.
Just as we were settling down, the public address voice spoke again: "Thank you for participating in Delta's physical fitness program."
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Ходих на фитнес и видях нова машина.
Във фитнеса има нова машина. Ползвах я около час и вече ми е много зле. Иначе има всичко
Ny maskin på gymmet! Riktigt nice
We hebben een nieuwe machine op de sportschool
Just been to the gym and there's a new machine.
Only used it for an hour as I started to feel sick.
Its good though, it does everything 'Kitkats, Mars bars, Snickers and crisps'!
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She said "Gym or me". Sometimes I miss her.
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Q: Why was the farmer arrested at the gym?
A: He was destroying his calves.
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One morning, while she was making breakfast, the local fitness freak walked up to his wife, pinched her on the вuм and said, "You know dear if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle."
This was a bit over the limit, but she controlled herself and replied with silence.
Next morning the man woke his wife with a pinch on the вrеаsт.
"You know love if you firmed these up we could get rid of your bras."
That was too far over the limit.
She rolled over and grabbed him by the реnis.
Maintaining a vice grip, she whispered in his ear, "You know dear if you firmed this up we could get rid of the postman, the pool man, the gardener and your brother."
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Q: What do you say to a bodybuilding соw farmer?
A: Show us your calves!
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I do two hours of cardio every day.
But I still need to find the closest parking spot to the gym.
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Q: Why wasn't the bodybuilder evicted?
A: Because he was squatting.
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The Total Gym uses Chuck Norris to stay in shape.
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Someone call CSI.
I just killed my workout.
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Q: How do Columbians develop muscle?
A: By pushing drugs.
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Q: What exercise do Hairdressers do in the gym?
A: Curls.
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Redbull doesn't give you wings.
Lat pulldowns do.
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Doctor:
"Yes, what is it I can do for you?"
Blond:
"Doctor, yesterday, when I was doing my yoga, one of my friends told me that if I did this particular exercise, all my body’s blood would go into my head. But, when I stand, why doesn’t anyone say that all the blood would go into the legs?"
Doctor:
"The fact’s your legs are not that hollow as your head is."
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