Where Is God?
A couple had two mischievous little boys, ages eight and 10. At their wits' end, the parents contacted a clergyman who had been successful in rehabilitating bad children in the past.
The clergyman asked to see the boys individually. The eight-year-old was sent to meet with him first. The clergyman sat the boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?"
The boy made no response, so the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God?"
Again the boy made no attempt to answer, so the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face, "WHERE IS GOD?"
At that, the boy bolted from the room, ran directly home, and slammed himself in his closet. His older brother followed him into the closet and asked what happened.
The younger brother replied, "We are in big trouble this time. God is missing, and they think we did it!"
Ralph is driving home one evening, when he suddenly realizes that it's his daughter's birthday and he hasn't bought her a present. He drives to the mall, runs to the toy store, and says to the shop assistant, "How much is that Barbie in the window?" In a condescending manner, she says, "Which Barbie?" She continues, "We have Barbie Goes to the Gym for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Beach for $19.95, Barbie Goes Nightclubbing for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.00." Ralph asks, "Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.00 when all the others are only $19.95?"
"That's obvious," the saleslady says. "Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, Ken's boat, Ken's furniture..."
A black boy comes home from school, looking sad. His mother asks him if anything happened at school. The boy replies that they had a math test, and that the white boys solved almost all their problems, while he got almost all of his problems wrong. Is this because he is sтuрid, the boy wonders. His mother replies that it's not because of stupidity, it's because he is disadvantaged.
The boy doesn't get what this means, but is satisfied anyway.
A few days later the boy comes home with the same problem yet again. This time it was an english test, and he had almost every question wrong, while the white boys had almost every question right. Again, his mother explains that this is a result of him being disadvantaged.
He is satisfied with this answer and goes on his way.
Yet a few more days pass, and the black boy comes home one day with a beaming smile. His mother asks what happened at school to get him in such a fine mood, and the boy answers that all of the boys measured their penises in the locker room after gym class. All the white boys had really small penises, while his was huge. Was this also a product of him being disadvantaged?
His mother answers: "Nooo son, that's because all the little white boys are seven, and you are thirty-five!!"
