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Me: Happy birthday! I got you a Rubix cube! Friend: I hate you. Me: why? Friend: I’m color blind
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me: I have a magic trick that'll make u forget ur gаy.
friend: I'm not gаy...
me: Told ya!
friend: ....dammit
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Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I'm lonely. I wish my friends were back here."
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La señora y el mensaje del marido
der Pfarrer wars
Чапаев бил много болен и стоял на системи.
O sujeito está no hospital à beira da morte
Barzelletta "C'è un cinese in coma": Un carabiniere tampona una macchina guidata da un cinese
My Chinese friend got really sick one day and had to go to a hospital. I went to see him the next day
El viejo está muy enfermo. Le han colocado una bomba de oxígeno
I went to visit my friends sick grandpa. He was lying in a hospital bed connected to a lot of tubes. When I approached him he kept repeating “Nǐ cǎizhe wǒ de yǎngqì guǎn”
Suddenly right in front of me, he passed. Later that night I translated his last words, and they were “You’re standing on my oxygen tube”
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Two guys meet:
"Where were you lost my friend? says one of them."
"Well, I took my kids to the zoo..."
"And what kind of animals did you see there?"
"The tiger... Huge and Scary! Full of stripes... Slowly walking inside the cage. She was “ahgrrr...”
"Are you kidding me men? The tiger doesn’t go “ahgrrr..” … She “grrrrsss..”!
"Right, ok.. But when you get too close to her face... !"
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One day, there were two boys playing by a stream. One of the young boys saw a bush and went over to it. The other boy couldn't figure out why his friend was at the bush for so long. The other boy went over to the bush and looked. The two boys were looking at a woman bathing nакеd in the stream. All of a sudden, the second boy took off running. The first boy couldn't understand why he ran away, so he took off after his friend. Finally, he caught up to him and asked why he ran away. The boy said to his friend, "My mom told me if I ever saw a nакеd lady, I would turn to stone, and I felt something getting hard, so I ran."
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Jamito el padre y las matemáticas
El examen de Jaimito y la perdida de memoria
- Сине
Un díaantes
Tatal ii Zice fiului: - Mai bine ai trece examenul azi
Father: You better pass that exam or else forget that I'm your father. Son: Ok
Dad- Son
Little Kenny is about to have a big test and his father says: “You better study real good boy
Λέει η μάνα του Τοτού στον Τοτό: - Τοτέ εάν κοπείς στα μαθήματα της εξεταστικής ξέχνα ότι είσαι παιδί μου. Μετά από μερικές ώρες τον ξαναρωτάει : - Πώς τα πήγες; Τοτός : – Γνωριζόμαστε κυρία μου;
Dad: you better pass your exam or else forget me as your father!
Son: .....
Son: sure, whatever dad.
Five hours later
Dad: so how was your exam?
Son: who the hеll are you?!
Kickass if you get it
By mary z jing so my friends will know
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What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? He wiped his аss.
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Me: Have you ever seen that clown at walmart that hides from gаy people?
Friend: No?
Me: HAHAHA
Friend: Shit
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Me: I bet you can't say the alphabet faster than me.
Friend: challenge accepted A B C D E F G H I....
Me: the alphabet
Friend: you son of a b*tch...
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Friend: Were you born on the side of the road because that is where accidents happen.
Me: I'm sorry to say but your birth certificate was an apology letter from the соndом factory.
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Me: have you ever went sky diving
Friend:No
Me:Well don’t it sucks
Friend:Why
Me:They gave me a parachute and I lived
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I comforted my friend about his wife’s death: until I found out who did it.
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I went trick or treating this year with friends. Good thing I dressed as a zombie
…
No one could tell that it was their blood
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- Извинете
My friend over there really wants your number so they know where to get a hold of me in the morning.
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Une femme
Un esposo le dice a su mujer - Amor tienes cuerpo de diosa - Hay amor que tierno - Sí
- J’ai le même corps qu’un dieu grec ! - Boudda n’est pas un dieu grec idiot.
- Имам тяло на гръцки бог! - Буда не е гръцки бог
Rozmawiają dwie koleżanki: - Mój mąż uważa
Mein Freund erzählte mir neulich
My friend told me he had the body of a Greek god. I had to explain to him that Buddha is not Greek.
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What is a vampire's sweetheart called? His ghoul-friend.
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I once thought I had a Japanese friend…. But it was just my imagine Asian.
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