Gross jokes, Disgusting jokes
A nudе guy was sunbathing at the beach, a little girl comes to him, he covers his private parts with a newspaper.
The little girl asks, "hats under there?"
So the man answers , "A bird..."
The girl goes away & the man falls asleep. When he wakes up, he finds himself in a hospital & in alot of pain.
A doctor comes up to his bed & asks, 'What happened?'
The man answers, "I don't know. I was at the beach & fell asleep after talking to a little girl."
So the doctor tells this to the Police, and they go to the beach to find any witnesses.
When they got there, they see the little girl the man was talking about.
So they ask her if she did anything to the man...?
She answers, "I din't do anything to the man, but he was sleeping, I played with his bird, After a while, it spat at me, so i broke its neck, burnt its nest, and smashed all its eggs!"
A new miracle doctor was in town. He could cure anything and anybody, and everyone was amazed. Everyone except for Mr. Smith, the town’s grouch So Mr. Smith went to this 'miracle doctor' to prove that he wasn't anybody special. So he goes and tells the doctor, "Hey, doc, I have lost my sense of taste. I can't taste nothing', so what are you going to do?"
The doctor scratches his head and mumbles to himself a little, then tells Mr. Smith, "What you need is jar number 43."
Jar number 43? Mr. Smith wonders. So the doctor brings the jar and tells Mr. Smith to taste it. He tastes it and immediately spits it out, "This is gross!" he yells.
"I just restored your sense of taste Mr. Smith," says the doctor.
So Mr. Smith goes home very mad. One month later, Mr. Smith goes back to the doctor along with a new problem, "Doc," he starts, "I can't remember!"
Thinking he got the doctor, the doctor scratches his head and mumbles to himself a little and tells Mr. Smith, "What you need is jar number 43..."
Before the doctor finished his sentence, Mr. Smith fled the office.
It was the first day of school after summer vacation.
The kids had all arrived in the high school sophomore English class, and were chatting away, making new friends.
THEN…In walked a very stern looking English teacher and a hush fell over the room as the kids scurried to their seats.
The stern teacher silently panned his gaze across all the kids.
After about a minute or so, he spoke...
"From the outset, I want you all to know that there are two words that are absolutely unacceptable in this classroom.
You cannot use them as you recite, or in any of your papers, tests, or homework.
Using these words even once, will get you a failing grade for that quarter.
The first one is "gross"
And the other one is "cool"
Are there any questions?"
After a few moments of silence, this gawky teen at the back of the room raises his hand,
And the teacher calls upon him.
In a pubescent croaking voice, the kid asks...
"So, what are they?"