History Jokes

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It belongs in a museum! In its country of origin right? In its country of origin right?

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I guess the mystery of how the Great Pyramid was built, is now finally put to rest.

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Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb.
On his реnis.

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What explorer was the best at Hiding and Seek?
Marco Polo.

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What is a snake's favorite subject in school?
Hissssstory.

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They say that if I don't support transgender rights I'm on the wrong side of history.
At least I'm on the right side of the firing squad.

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Police Officer says "We'll never forget 9/11..."
In my mind: "I hope not It's your dамn number!"

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One night a Viking named Rudolph the Red was looking out the window when he said, "It's going to rain."
His wife asked, "How do you know?"
"Because Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."

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A Detroit-area woman who was removed from a jury for commenting about the ongoing case on Facebook has a longer writing task ahead: a five-page essay about the constitutional right to a fair trial.
She responded, "Can I just get the answer from Wikipedia and send it to the inbox on your Facebook page instead?"

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We love Facebook but we hate the face of book.

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Facebook is like a fridge.
Every a few minutes you keep opening and closing it to see if there's anything good in it.

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Yo mama is sтuрid, she put a book in her friend face and named facebook.

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How did the Vikings send secret messages?
By norse code!
Why did the knight run about shouting for a tin opneder?
He had a bee in his suit of armour!
Teacher: Who can tell me where Hadrians Wall is?
Pupil: I expect it’s around Hadrian’s garden miss!
Why were the early days of history called the dark ages?
Because there were so many knights!

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I'm going to change my Facebook name to Benefits.
Now, when someone adds me on Facebook, it will say: you are now friends with Benefits.

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Guy comes up the hill, look up to the sky and yells, "God, I want to hear your opinion! Is Facebook harmful?"
And response from heaven, "A moment, I just finish this status.."

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Facebook is like a fridge, you keep checking it and nothing has changed.

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Anyone remember the good old days before Facebook, Instagram and Twitter?
When you had to take a photo of your dinner, then get the film developed, then go around to all your friends' houses to show them the picture of your dinner?
No?
Me neither.

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Dear Facebook,
Everytime I add a girl you ask me "Do you know her? Is she your sister?"

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