The Priest of a small village was very happy with his flock of ten hens and a cockerel.
He kept them in a hen house behind the parish, but one Saturday night, the cockerel was missing.
The priest, suspecting fowl play decided to say something about it at church the next morning.
At last, he asked the congregation, has anyone got a соск? To which all the men stood up.
“No,no,” he said, some what flustered, “that’s not what I meant. “Has anybody SEEN a соск?” All the women stood up.
“No, no,” he said. “Thats not what I meant either. Has anyone seen a соск that doesn’t belong to them.” Half the women stood up.
“No, no,” He said, now thoroughly embarrassed “Perhaps I should rephrase the question: Has anybody here seen MY соск?” All the choirboys stood up.
A drunк staggers out of a bar and runs into two priests. He goes over to the first priest and says,
"Dude, I'm Jesus Сhrisт!" And the priest says,
"No son, you're not." So the drunк goes over to the second priest and says,
"Man, I'm Jesus Сhrisт!" Then the priest says,
"No son, you're not." Finally, the drunк had enough and said,
"Here, I'll prove it." He walks back into the bar with both priests and the bartender looks up and sees the drunк and says,
"Jesus Сhrisт, you're back AGAIN?"
A Republican, a Democrat, a Communist, a priest, a rabbi, an Imam, an African, a Caucasian, an Asian, a horse, a giraffe, an elephant, a fairy, an elf, and an unicorn walk into a bar...
The bar tender looks up
"What is this? A joke?"
Jack goes to his friend Mike and says, “I’m sleeping with the priest’s wife. Can you hold him in church for an hour after mass for me?”
The friend doesn’t like it but being a friend, he agrees.
After mass, he starts talking to the priest, asking him all sorts of sтuрid questions, just to keep him occupied.
Finally the priest gets annoyed and asks Mike what he’s really up to.
Mike, feeling guilty, finally confesses to the priest, “My friend is sleeping with your wife right now, so he asked me to keep you occupied.”
The priest smiles, puts a brotherly hand on Mike’s shoulder and says, “You’d better hurry home now. My wife died a year ago.”