Kids jokes, Toddler Jokes, Children jokes

Add a joke Newest jokes Most popular

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Justin
Justin who?
Justin time for dinner!

22

0

I saw some ducks practicing their teenage girl faces at the pond today.

22

0

There is three kids sitting at the lunch table one day.
One kid ask what do you call a mixed baby? One replies a zebra,another replies a mistake and the third one replies. Rape

22

0

Handy hint: Feed your baby onions so you can find it in the dark.

22

0

Why do ghetto people always name their kids things they cant afford like Diamond, Mercedes, Car Insurance?

22

0

Little Johnny was watching TV with his mother.
Johnny:
"Why is this тамроn commercial so long?"
Mother:
"This is my favorite show called 90210."
Johnny: ...

22

0

What bounces and makes kids cry?
My donation cheque to Children in Need.

22

0

What is the best way to keep dogs out of the street?
Put them in a barking lot.

22

0

What do you say when you meet a two-headed monster?
Hello, hello.

22

0

Why did the cat sleep with a fаn on?
He wanted to be a cool cat.

22

0

They said the baby looked like me.
Until they turned him the right way up.

22

0

Little Johnny asks the teacher, “Mrs Roberts, can I be punished for something I haven’t done?”
Mrs Roberts is shocked, “Of course not, Johnny, that would be very unfair!”
Little Johnny is relieved, “OK Mrs Roberts, sorry, I haven’t done my homework.”

21

0

What is height of Laziness?
Adopting a child.

21

0

A man married an illiterate wife.
After two years of marriage, they gave birth to a son called EFe.
One day his mother asked him to read is multiplication table and he started immediately but when he reached 4multiply by 4 he mistakingly said 8 they mother angrily slapped him and told him the answer wasn't 8 but 44.
The boy cried and reported what happened to the father, the father took him back and angrily told the wife to tell him the correct answer and the woman hurriedly say 4mutiply by 4 is it not 44.
The man now calmed down and sai d u are Lucky that you got the answer if not I would have disgraced you here.
I hope they are all brilliant.

21

0

A man is driving his five year old to a friend’s house when another car races in front and cuts them off, nearly causing an accident.
"Dоuсhеваg!" the father yells.
A moment later he realizes the indiscretion, pulls over, and turns to face his son.
"Your father just said a bad word," he says.
"I was angry at that driver, but that was no excuse for what I said. It was wrong. But just because I said it, it doesn’t make it right, and I don’t ever want to hear you saying it. Is that clear?"
His son looks at him and says:
"Too late, dоuсhеваg."

21

0

One day Pepito was having a shower with his father when he saw his fathers реnis.
He asked his father what it was and his father replied "this is my racing car".
The next night Pepito heard moaning in his parents room, being curious he peeped in to see what was happening.
He then saw his father on top of his mother, while looking his father saw him and told him to go to his room.
"OK, but I'm not sure you're driving that racing car properly" replied Pepito.

21

0

A mother found out she was pregnant and told the good news to anyone who would listen.
One day when mother and son were shopping, a woman asked the little boy if he was excited about the new baby.
‘Yes!’ the four-year-old said.
‘And I know what we are going to name it, too.
If it's a girl we're going to call her Mary, and if it's another boy we're going to call it quits!'

21

0

What does Superman, Batman, and Ironman have in common?
When they were kids they wanted to be Chuck Norris

21

0