Marriage Jokes, Family Jokes
A guy comes home from work, runs into the living room, and flops down in front of the TV. He quickly turns it on and starts flipping through the channels. His wife walks into the living room and the guys says to her, "Wife, hurry up and get me a вееr before it starts!" The wife goes to the fridge, cracks a вееr and gives it to her husband. The husband slams down the вееr, gives her the empty, and tells her, "Hurry up and get me another one! It's gonna start soon!" The wife goes to the fridge, gets another вееr, cracks it open, and takes it to her husband. The guy slams the вееr again, gives her the empty, and says,
"Hurry up and get me 1 more вееr, it's gonna start ANY minute!" The wife, getting upset, goes to the fridge, gets him a вееr, cracks it open, gives it to her husband and says "You know, all you ever do around here is come home from work, sit in front of the TV, bark orders at me, drink вееr...............” The guy, hearing his wife complaining, sips his вееr, sighs, and says,
"Yep, it's started!"
Pedro and Maria got married. Pedro was a “man about town” so to speak, but Maria was very naive and uninformed about the birds and the bees.
Pedro was a poor working man and could not afford to take time off for a honeymoon. So, that night they retired to his little shack. When Pedro was undrеssing Maria said, “Oh Pedro, what is that?”
Pedro being very quick thinking said, “Maria, I am the only man in the world with one of these.” And, then, he proceeded to show her what it was for, and Maria was happy.
The next morning Pedro went off to work as usual. When he returned home that evening, Maria was on the front porch obviously upset about something.
“Pedro, you told me that you were the only man in the world with one of those, and I saw Gonzalez the gardener changing his clothes behind the shed, and he had one, too.”
Thinking fast, Pedro said, “Oh, Maria, Gonzalez is my very best friend. I had two of them so I gave him one. He is the only other man in the world with one of those.”
Maria being very sтuрid accepted his answer and they did their thing again that night.
Pedro went off to work again the next morning and when he returned home, Maria was very upset, stamping her foot on the porch.
Pedro said, “Maria, what is the matter now?”
“Pedro, you gave Gonzalez the best one!!”
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