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Men-Women jokes

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What do you call a doll on fire?
A Barbie-Q!
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Паметна плавуша Eine intelligente Blondine Как се нарича умната блондинка? What do you call a blonde with a brain? A golden retriever. Hvad kalder du en intelligent blondine? – En Golden Retriever. Hva kalles en smart blondine? Svar: Golden Retriver. Miksi kutsutaan viisasta blondia? - Kultaiseksi noutajaksi Het is blond en slim? Een golden retreiver - Vad kallar man en smart blondin? - Golden retriever. Vad kallar man en smart blondin? Golden retriever En indikation på att man är alldeles för full Falsk
What do you call a smart blonde?
A Golden Retriever.
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Q. How do men define a long-term relationship?
A. A second date.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.
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A burglar breaks into a house and is quietly and expertly collecting valuables in his bag when he hears a voice:
"Jesus is watching you."
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My sister was with two men in one night.
She could hardly walk after that.
Can you imagine?
Two dinners!
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A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar.
They talk, they connect, and they end up leaving together.
They get back to her place, and as she shows him around, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears.
Hundreds of small bears are on a shelf all the way along the floor, medium sized ones are on a shelf a little higher, and huge bears are on the top shelf along the wall.
The man is kind of surprised by the collection, especially because it’s so extensive, but he decides not to mention this to her.
She turns to him…they kiss…then they rip each other’s clothes off and romp around the room all night.
After an intense night of passion, as they are lying there together in the afterglow, the man rolls over and asks, smiling, “Well, how’d I do?”
The woman says, “You can have any prize from the bottom shelf.”
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Sатаn appeared before a small town congregation. Everyone started screaming and running for the front church door, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away.Soon everyone was gone except for an elderly gentleman who sat calmly.
Satan walked up to him and said, "Don't you know who I am?"
The man replied, "Yep, sure do."Sатаn asked, "Aren't you going to run?"
"Nope, sure ain't," said the man.Sатаn asked, "Why aren't you afraid of me?"
The man replied, "Been married to your sister for over 48 years."
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Q: How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 20. One to change the bulb and 19 to make a documentary about it.
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An old woman buys herself some bright red crotchless раnтiеs and goes home to surprise her husband.
When her husband comes home, she calls him into the bedroom and points to her new раnтiеs. "Hey old timer," she says, "come and get some of this!"
The old man says, "Неll no, woman. It done ate a hole in your drawers!"
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How do you make a woman blind?
Put a windshield in front of her!
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What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?
Divorced.
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A guy was going to Texas and when he went on the train he said,
"Ohh my god Texas chairs are really big."
He went to a bar he asked for a bear and when the bar tender gave him the mug of bear the guy said,
"Wooww Texas mugs are really big."
Later he asked the bar tender were is the bathroom and the bar tender said,
"Strait on your right."
But the guy went on his left and when he entered the room he slipped and feel in the swimming pool and said,
"Don't flush don't flush!"
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A Woman asks a Waiter What is this fly doing in my Ice cream?
The waiter says,
"Shivering madam".
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What does a man consider a seven course meal?
A hot dog and a six pack.
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Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds?
Because most men are sтuрid, but few are blind.
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How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?
Make him wear shoes.
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What's the quickest way to lose 190 pounds of ugly fат?
Divorce him.
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