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Men-Women jokes

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Q: What's the downside to bigamy?
A: More than one mother-in-law.
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Wife #1:
Hey, Lynn, tell me this. How did you get your husband from staying out late? Wife #2: Well, everytime he would come home I would simply say, 'Mike, is that you?' Wife #1: But I still don't understand. How did that kept him from staying out? Wife #2: My husband's name is Andrew.
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Some strangers sit at the bar. One guy says, "My name is Larry, and I am a SNAG."
Another guy asks, "What's that?"
The first guy says, "I am a Single, New Age Guy."
Another guy says, "My name is Gary, and I am a DINК."
A lady asks, "What's that?"
He says, "Double Income, No Kids."
The lady says, "That's nice. My name is Gertrude, and I am a WIFE."
Larry asks, "A WIFE?"
Gertrude says, "Wash, Iron, F**k, Etc."
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Diamonds are a girl's best friend.
Dogs are man's best friend.
So which is the dumber sеx?
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What usually happens when a man puts his best foot forward?
It ends up in his mouth.
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Men come in three sizes:
Small, medium, and OOoohhh yesss!
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Q. Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
A. So they wouldn't huмр women's legs at cocktail parties.
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He: Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you in
The worst way.
She: Well, you succeeded.
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What's a man's definition of a romantic evening?
Sex.
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How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
11, 10 to form a committee and 1 to get her boyfriend to do it..
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Men will brag that there are women waiting by the phone at this very moment for their call. Who are these women? Women working at 900 numbers.
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Hvordan har en ISIS terrorist sikker sex?– Han markere de kameler der sparker.
Q: How do rednecks have safe sеx?
A: They mark the sheep that kick!
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How was Colonel Sanders a typical male?
All he cared about were legs, вrеаsтs, and thighs.
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A man has 6 items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap and a towel from the Holiday Inn.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 437.
A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
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Q: Why did Frosty the Snowman want a divorce?
A: He thought his wife was a flake.
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библиотека им. ленина. в читальном зале сидят доктора наук Блондинка влиза в библиотека A blonde went in the library and walked up to the librarian behind the desk and said Μπαίνει μια ξανθιά στη βιβλιοθήκη και αρχίζει να φωνάζει: - "Μια πίτα γύρο από όλα χωρίς μουστάρδα." Ο βιβλιοθηκάριος της λέει διακριτικά: - "Συγνώμη κυρία μου A blonde enters a library. She goes to the counter and says "I'll like a cheeseburger Une blonde rentre dans une blibliothéque et elle dit : - "un coca Sarışının biri kütüphaneye gitmiş ve direk bankoya yönelerek görevliden bir hamburger En blondin gick till ett bibliotek och sa - Hej Un fou entre dans une bibliothèque : "-Bonjour En blondin klev in i ett bibliotek och gick fram till bibliotikarien och sa: - En hamburgare med pommes tack! - Men lilla vännen Geht eine Blondine in die Bibliothek und fragt: "Kann ich ein Döner haben?" Sagt der Bibliothekar: "Das hier ist eine Bibliothek." Flüstert die Blondine "Kann ich einen Döner haben." Een dom blondje komt de bibliotheek binnen en roept: “Een zak friet en een frikandel!” Sssssst u bent hier in een bibliotheek Une blonde entre dans une bibliothèque C’est une blonde qui rentre dans une bibliothèque et qui demande à l’accueil : - Bonjour
A blonde walks into a library and asks the librarian, "Can I have a burger and fries?"
She replies, "Sorry, this is a library."
The blonde whispers, "Oh, sorry. May I have a burger and fries?"
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fax Το Φαξ. Как можеш да разбереш Το fax Woran erkennt man an einem Fax Comment reconnaît-on un Fax belge ? Il y a un timbre Comment fait-on pour savoir que c'est une blonde qui a envoyé un fax? Il y a un timbre sur le fax. À quoi reconnaît-on qu'un fax a été envoyé par une blonde ? - Au timbre. Po czym poznać Mistä tiedät - Honnan tudod Mistä tietää - Hur ser man att ett fax har blivit skickat av en blondin? - Frimärke i hörnet... Hvordan kan du vite om faksen du har fått er fra en svenske? - Det er frimerke på den. Woher weiß man Hvad kendetegner en fax Kako znate da vam je fax poslala plavuša? Ima markicu na sebi.
Q: How do you know if a blonde sent you a fax?
A: There's a stamp on it.
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What is gross stupidity?
144 men in one room.
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