Men-Women jokes

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How do most men compare to Mel Gibson?
They have everything he has, except talent, money, and looks.

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What do you call a handcuffed man?
Trustworthy.

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Definition of a man with manners – he gets out of the bath to рее.

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Men and women were created equal but women continued to improve.

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Women dream of world peace, a safe environment, and eliminating hunger.
What do men dream of?
Being stuck in an elevator with the Doublemint twins.

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What's the difference between a man and a messy room?
You can straighten up a messy room.

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What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man?
His wife is good at picking out clothes.

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Why do jocks play on artificial turf?
To keep them from grazing.

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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'
So he gave me a kite.

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Mattel is coming out with a talking Barbie.
They say it was easy to get Barbie to talk.
The problem was getting Ken to listen.

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Q: How do blondes' brain cells die?
A: Alone.

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Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes?
A: A whine cellar.

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Men are like..... Department Stores.
Their clothes should always be half off.

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How are men like chocolates?
A. They never last long enough
B. They always leave stains whenever they get hot.

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Why do men buy electric lawn mowers?
So they can find their way back to the house.

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If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you...
...I'd start thinking about you.

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What's the biggest difference between men and women ?
Men are crabby all month long.

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Why are there only snow men and not snow women?
Because only men are dumb enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.

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