Herman and his brother, Trevor live on a farm in Texas. One day Trevor rides on his bike into town and he sees a building on fire, so he goes back home and tells his brother, "Herman, Herman there is a fire and people are getting burned!"
His brother says "Oh, that was on the radio - that's old news.
So Trevor rides back into town and he sees a bank being robbed, so he rides back home and says "Herman, Herman there is bank being robbed and people are getting shot and killed!"
His brother says, "Oh that was on the radio - that's old news."
So Trevor rides back into town and he sees a pig stuck in a fence and starts to thinkin'... Then he rides home and says, "Herman Herman! I had my first sequal experience today!"
His brother says, "In a pig's аss,"
And Trevor replies, "Oh, you and your sтuрid radio."
A hillbilly is sitting in a bar, drinking, when a woman sidles up next to him. "You're cute," says the woman, "do you want to go back to my place and have some nasty sеx?"
"You bet!'' exclaims the hillbilly, "But I have to tell you, I'm a virgin. I've always been scared because my mom told me that women have sharp teeth between their legs, and sometimes they bite."
"Don't worry," the woman says, and the two head back to her place, where she strips and shows the hillbilly her private parts. "Now, does it look like I have teeth down there?" she asks.
"How could you possible have teeth down there?" he says, "Look at the shape your gums are in."
A market researcher called at a house and his knock was answered by a young woman with three small children running around her.
He asked her if she minded replying to his questions and when she agreed, he asked her if she knew his company, Cheeseborough-Ponds. When she said no, he mentioned that among their many products was Vaseline and she certainly knew of that product. When asked if she used it, she answered,
''Yes, we use it when we have sеxuаl inтеrсоursе.''
The interviewer was amazed. He said,
''I always ask that question because everyone uses our product and they always say they use it for the child's bicycle chain, or the gate hinge or some other purpose. But I know that most people really use it for sеxuаl inтеrсоursе, they just don't like to say so. Since you've been so frank, could you tell me exactly how you use it?''
''We put it on the doorknob to keep the kids out.''