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Национални вицове English Nationen-Witze, Indianerwitze Chiste de internacionales, Chi... Русский Blague sur les Nationalités Barzellette su Nazioni Ανέκδοτα με εθνότητες Македонски Türkçe Анекдоти національні Português Dowcipy i kawały: Polak, Niemi... Svenska Nederlands Nationaliteter vittigheder, Jo... Norsk Suomi Magyar Româna Čeština Anekdotai apie tautas, Tautini... Par citām tautām Hrvatski
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If anybody here doesn't know how to dance salsa, let me help you out right now... One word: ruм.
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I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was really friendly.
So I asked,
"Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!" This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, "The Law of the Garbage Truck."
He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you.
Don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well and move on. Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets. The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day. Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so "Love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don't."
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I'm actually the only black person I know currently involved in an exchange program with Harlem, and I recently enrolled in EBSL: Ebonics as a Second Language. Next week I take finger snapping and neck rolling.
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What's the last show Mexicans had? 'Fantasy Island' -- Ricardo Montalban, remember that? You see what I mean? The first time a Mexican owns a whole dамn island, and it's a dамn fantasy!
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Last night I was going threw some paper work when I ran across my birth certificate.
Looking at the bottom of the certificate in fine print it read-- Made in the USA -- limited lifetime warranty.
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Slaves used to entertain the slаvе master, and he would laugh, but after the show, he wouldn't be any less racist. You know, he'd be like, 'Rastus, you were funny. I mean, you weren't give-you-your-freedom funny, but I enjoyed it.'
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We've got to have every g**dамn nationality at that news desk. I am so sick of that sh*t I could scream. Give me four white guys, four black guys, all women -- I don't care -- but do I have to have a g**dамn UN meeting every time I turn on the set?
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I'm surprised he don't go, 'Alright, Kunta Kinte, Kanye, whatever your name is -- you're right, I don't care about black people. I barely like the six that voted for me, so I don't care what you say.'
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