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Latest Jokes

Why are there no women on the moon? Because it doesn't need to be cleaned

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Sexist Jokes Jokes about Women Travel and Tourist Jokes

Back when I was a kid, there was no internet,
So people would sometimes have to walk for miles just to call me a сunт.

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Kids Jokes Internet Jokes Sarcasm Jokes

The vаginа is the best engine in the world.
1) It can be started with one finger;
2) It’s self-lubricating;
3) It accepts any size piston;
4) It even changes its own oil every four weeks.
It’s a shame that the management system is so fсuкing temperamental.

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Philosophy Jokes

If a woman is cold as a fish, a man has to be as patient as a fisherman.

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Jokes about Women Men jokes Love Jokes

"What is love, at last?" asks the dentist.
And the cardiologist:
"Love is a toothache.. but inside the heart!"

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Life Jokes Love Jokes Dentist Jokes

Emailing professors be like:
*polite greeting
*multiple paragraphs
*perfect grammar
Professor's reply:
"Sure."
- Sent from my iPhone

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School Jokes Apple and iPhone Jokes

What hhhhb did I do with the internet for

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Internet Jokes

"Killed it" is a figure of speech implying someone stopped the banter.
To Chuck Norris that's just the motto of his life.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

Why do midgets make shiт parents?
Because they struggle to put food on the table.

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Food Jokes Disability Jokes

Each evening bird lover Tom stood in his backyard, hooting like an owl - and one night, an owl finally called back to him.
For a year, the man and his feathered friend hooted back and forth. He even kept a log of the "conversation."
Just as he thought he was on the verge of a breakthrough in inter species communication, his wife had a chat with her next door neighbor.
"My husband spends his nights ... calling out to owls," she said.
"That's odd," the neighbor replied. "So does my husband."

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Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes Friendship Jokes Communication Jokes

Your so ugly when you were born your mom said "Oh what a treasure" and your dad said "Yeah le´ts bury it."

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Dad Jokes Birthday Jokes

I have as much authority as the Pope, i just don't have as many people who believe it.

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Christian Jokes Superhero Jokes

As a dentist, I recently tried out a new chocolate-flavored pumice paste on my patients. No one liked it except for a six-year-old boy. While I polished his teeth, he continued to smile and liск his lips. "You must really like this new flavor," I said.
"Yep," he replied, nodding with satisfaction. "It tastes just like the time I dropped my candy bar in the sandbox."

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Kids Jokes Chocolate Jokes Dentist Jokes

It is very easy to become a superman, you just have to change the sequence of clothes while wearing.

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Beauty Jokes Superhero Jokes

A married couple rushed to the hospital because the woman was in labor the doctor asked the couple, "I have invented a new machine that you might want to try, it takes some of the labor pains away from the mother and gives it to the father." So the married couple decided that they would try this. So the doctor hooked the machine up and put it on 10% of pain switched from the mother to the father and the husband said "I feel okay turn it up a lot more" so the doctor turned it up to 50% and the husband said "why don’t you just put it all on me cause I’m not feeling a thing" but the doctor warned them "this much could кill you if your not prepared", and the husband replied "I am ready "so the doctor turned the machine up to 100% but the husband didn’t fell a thing so they went home happy with a pain free labor, but when they got home the mailman was dead on the front porch!

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Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Baby Jokes

Relationship Status: I'm a Rubik's Cube. Now try and figure me out.

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Relationship Jokes Attitude Jokes

You have the nicest syntax I've ever seen.

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Flirt jokes

Being single and unemployed is actually a lot like being married.
I don’t get any sеx and I’ve never got any money.

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Money jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Sex Jokes Single People Jokes

Mary, a shy virgin was discussing her worries about her up-coming marriage to Раddy, with the parish priest.
“He dropped his trousers last night Father, he has a thing between his legs that I never saw the likes of before.”
“Sure that’s only his реnis Mary.”
“But father there’s a purple кnов on it.”
“That’s just the head of the реnis Mary.”
“Yeah, but then Father, about 16 inches back from the purple кnов there’s two big round things. What are they Father?”
“Well for your sake Mary, I hope they’re the cheeks of his аrsе.”

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Marriage and Family Jokes Dating Jokes Priest Jokes

I was going to buy a pocket calculator. But then I thought, who cares how many pockets I have.

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Math Jokes