Latest Jokes

Alas, the addition of lye and salt (“Surströmming”) to the lutefisk didn’t prevent it from spoiling and Ollie, Sven and Lars tragically die eating bad Lutefisk and drinking too much Scandinavian aquavit. They are met by God on the stairway to heaven. …
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God says, “There are 3,000 steps to heaven. It’s very serious up there. I’ll tell you a joke on each 1,000th step you reach. If you laugh, you go to hеll.” …
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So they start walking and reach the first 1,000th step. God tells a hilarious joke, Lars laughs out loud and whoosh! goes straight to hеll. Ollie and Sven look at each other nervously. …
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On the 2,000th step God tells another joke, Sven tries his best but laughs and whoooosh! goes to straight to hеll…
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On the 3,000th step God tells the last and best joke, Ole doesn’t laugh and proceeds to the gate.
Suddenly, Ollie bursts out laughing hysterically. God asks, “What are you laughing about?”.
Ollie replies, “Oh dot’s funny. I yust got da furst yoke!”.
God Jokes Stupid Jokes
Според статистиката, женените мъже живеят по-дълго от ергените. Женените мъже живеят по-дълго от неженените. Married men live longer than single men, but married men are more willing to die. Verheiratete Männer leben länger als unverheiratete, aber sie sind viel eher bereit zu sterben.
Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes Sexist Jokes
An award should go to the United Airlines gate agent in Denver for being smart and funny, while making her point, when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo.
A crowded United Airlines flight was cancelled. A single agent was re booking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket on the counter and said “I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS.”
The agent replied, “I am sorry, sir. I’ll be happy to try to help you, but I’ve got to help these folks first, and I’m sure we’ll be able to work something out.”
The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, “DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?”
Without hesitating, the agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone, “May I have your attention please, ” she began, her voice heard clearly throughout the terminal. “We have a passenger here at Gate 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to Gate 14.”
With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the United agent, gritted his teeth and swore “F*** You!” Without flinching, she smiled and said, “I’m sorry sir, but you’ll have to get in line for that too.”
Office and Work Jokes Men jokes Single People Jokes Sarcasm Jokes
Everyone knows that if you are going to operate a business in today’s world you need a domain name. It is advisable to look at the domain name selected as other see it and not just as you think it looks. Failure to do this may result in situations such as the following (legitimate) companies who deal in everyday humdrum products and services but clearly didn’t give their domain names enough consideration:
A site called Who Represents where you can find the name of the agent that represents a celebrity. Their domain name is
Www. Whorepresents. Com
Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at
Www. Expertsexchange. Com
Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at
Www. Penisland. Net
Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at
Www. Therapistfinder. Com
Then of course, there’s the Italian Power Generator company
Www. Powergenitalia. Com
And now, we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South Wales
Www. Molestationnursery. Com
If you’re looking for computer software, there’s always
Www. Ipanywhere. Com
Welcome to the First Сuммing Methodist Church. Their website is
Www. Cummingfirst. Com
Then, of course, there’s these brainless art designers, and their whacky website:
Www. Speedofart. Com
Want to holiday in Lake Tahoe? Try their brochure website at
Www. Gotahoe. Com
Internet Jokes Nurse jokes Programmer Jokes
A woman has a close male friend.
This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend.
This always starts out with, “you’re a great guy, but I don’t like you in that way”.
This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, “You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we’re not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we’re going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn’t work out, we’ll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.”
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