One Liner Jokes, Short jokes

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Doctor to a woman:
"You look exhausted, have you been taking 3 meals a day like I told you?"
Woman replies:
"Oh, my... I thought you said 3 males a day."

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A man went to the doctor with a mystery ailment.
The doctor asked:
"Do you drink to excess?"
The man replied:
"I’ll drink to anything."

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Happy Friday Everyone!

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There is one TV psychologist who is a compulsive over-eater. They call him Doctor Fill My Craw.

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“Boss can I have a week off around Christmas?”
“It’s May...”
“Sorry. May I have a week off around Christmas?”

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Q: What do you call a blonde with one brain cell? A: Gifted.
Q: What do you call a blonde with two brain cells? A: Pregnant.
Q: What do you call a blonde with more than two brain cells? A: A golden retriever.

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There's a new hat that cures insomnia. It's called the Slumbero.

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I look up to milkmen. They're borne litres.

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The Lee family has been really stressing me out!
Perhaps you know them...
Emotional Lee, Physical Lee, Mental Lee and let’s not forget Financial Lee!

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The Harvard School of Medicine did a study of why women like Chinese food so much.
The study revealed that this is due to the fact that 'Won Ton' spelled backward is 'Not Now'.

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I'm not a complete idiот...
Some parts are still missing!

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Decades ago, watching late night TV was found to be Carsonogenic.

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When you open a can of whoop-аss, Chuck Norris jumps out.

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“My cousin used to work for a map company. The trouble with his job was that there was no latitude for error.”

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How does a blonde like her eggs in the morning? Fertilized

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Two lions were lying around in the jungle. One of them his licking his аsshоlе. The other lion asked him,
"Why are you licking your аsshоlе?"
The second lion replied,
"Aww, I just ate a lawyer and I'm trying to get the taste out of my mouth."

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What's the blonde's cheer?
" I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B. L. O... Ah, oh well.. I'm blonde, I'm blonde, yea yea yea..."

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"Yoda, are you sure we're headed in the right direction?"
"Off course we are..."

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