One Liner Jokes, Short jokes

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“My cousin used to work for a map company. The trouble with his job was that there was no latitude for error.”

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How does a blonde like her eggs in the morning? Fertilized

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Two lions were lying around in the jungle. One of them his licking his аsshоlе. The other lion asked him,
"Why are you licking your аsshоlе?"
The second lion replied,
"Aww, I just ate a lawyer and I'm trying to get the taste out of my mouth."

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"Yoda, are you sure we're headed in the right direction?"
"Off course we are..."

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An Irish man walks in to a bar with bandages all round his feet.
His friend asked him, "What happened to you?"
"Well," he said,
"It all started with a can of soup which said on it 'open can and stand in boiling water for ten minutes'... so i did."

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Why did the blonde date hunters?
Because she heard they go deep into the bush, always shoot twice, love to mount their prey and always eat what they shoot.

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What do you call a blonde with pigtails?A вlоw job with handle bars. Submitted by CalamjoEdited by Christine

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A group of bats, hanging at the ceiling of a cave, discovers a single bat standing upright underneath on the floor of the cave.
Surprised by this unusual behavior, they ask this fellow:
"What the heck are you doing down there?"
And the fellow shouts back:
"Yoga!"

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A famous visitor to an asylum tries to make a phone call, but it doesn't go through. After trying to get help from the operator, without luck, the exasperated visitor shouts, "Listen, do you know who I am?!"
Calmly, the operator answers, "No, but I know WHERE you are."

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Why do bagpipe players always walk while they play?
Is it to get away from the noise?

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Deborah, the вusтy blonde who was on vacation, sent home a postcard.
She writes: Hi folks, me having a great time. Where am I?

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The wife of a Las Vegas doctor telephoned a local casino and asked to have her husband paged."Sorry, Madam," came the reply, "but the house does not make doctor calls."

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My niece, pregnant with her second child, was certain she wanted an epidural for pain management during childbirth. Her doctor asked her at which stage of labor she wanted the epidural administered.
Her response:
"Just meet me in the parking lot!"

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Yo' Mama is so skanky, her idea of safe sеx is to lock the car doors.

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Q: What do Barbie and Paris Hilton have in common?
A: They are both blonde, brainless and made out of plastic.

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Q: Why did the calf cross the road?
A: To get to the udder side.

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What do you call a priest that’s also a lawyer?
A father in law.

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Teacher: Billy, name two pronouns.
Billy: Who, me? Teacher: Very good!

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