One Liner Jokes, Short jokes

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Teacher: What is the chemical formula for water?
Ramu: "HIJKLMNO"!!
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Ramu: Yesterday you said it's H to O!

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Q: What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Humpme Dumpme.

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The doorbell rings. A man opens the door and there's his mother-in-law on the front step.
She asks, "Can I stay here for a few days?"
The man says,
"Sure you can." And he closes the door.

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She is so blonde, she thinks that Taco Веll is the Mexican phone company.

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Patient: Nurse, I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes.
Nurse: Have you seen a doctor?
Patient: No, just spots.

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Big foot claims he saw Chuck Norris.

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Q: what is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?
A: Trying to hold onto a thought.

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Teacher: “What is the difference between ‘Tea’ and ‘Tee’?
Student: "The first one is a drink and the second is an incorrect spelling."

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We live in an expanding universe.
All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris once went skydiving but promised never to do it again.
One Grand Canyon is enough.

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"I'm sorry," said the clerk in flower shop, "we don't have potted geraniums. Could you use African violets instead?"

Replied the customer sadly, "No, it was geraniums my wife told me to water while she was gone."

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I asked my phone, "Siri, why am I so bad with women?"
She said, "I'm Alexa you моrоn."

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When you get to be a certain age, there are two things you definitely don’t want to do in the same week...
Upgrade your prescription glasses and buy a full-length mirror!

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As soon as the dentist asked the patient to sit down, he pulled out his wallet. Seeing this the dentist said,
"Please don't, you don't need to pay me now."
The patient answered:
"Pay you! I just want to count my money before I'm unconscious!"

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Why are cowgirls always bowlegged?
Cowboys like to eat with their hats on.

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I got a trophy wife. I know thats not right to say, cause if youre married thats your trophy. Im just saying not everybody got a first place trophy. Some people end up with a plaque. You marry the neighborhood hoochie, you get a participation ribbon.

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Two sperms were swimming along when one says to the other "Man I'm getting tired, how far is it to the uтеrus anyway?" The other sреrм laughs and says "Uтеrus!, we aren't even through the esophagus yet." Submitted by curtis Edited by calamjo, Tantilazing and hottrouble1

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A couple of months ago, I gave my girlfriend some fancy lingerie, and she actually got mad at me. She said, Anthony, I think this is more of a gift for you than it is for me. And I said, If you want to get technical, it was originally a gift for my last girlfriend.

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