One Liner Jokes, Short jokes

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Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks? A: It takes too long to retrain them.

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I was out last Sunday -- I didnt see any signs, nobody to ask, so I lit a cigarette. This woman lost all control of her воdily functions. Put it out, please, put it out. I turned around -- she was three pews away!

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Q: What goes stop, go, stop, go, stop, go?
A: A blonde at a flashing red light.

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Employer: "We need someone responsible for the job."
"Sir your search ends here! In my previous job whenever something went wrong,everybody said I was responsible."

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Teacher: What is the chemical formula for water?
Ramu: "HIJKLMNO"!!
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Ramu: Yesterday you said it's H to O!

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Q: What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Humpme Dumpme.

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The doorbell rings. A man opens the door and there's his mother-in-law on the front step.
She asks, "Can I stay here for a few days?"
The man says,
"Sure you can." And he closes the door.

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Q: What is a blonde's favorite rock group?
A: Air Supply.

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She is so blonde, she thinks that Taco Веll is the Mexican phone company.

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Patient: Nurse, I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes.
Nurse: Have you seen a doctor?
Patient: No, just spots.

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Big foot claims he saw Chuck Norris.

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Q: what is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?
A: Trying to hold onto a thought.

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We live in an expanding universe.
All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris once went skydiving but promised never to do it again.
One Grand Canyon is enough.

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"I'm sorry," said the clerk in flower shop, "we don't have potted geraniums. Could you use African violets instead?"

Replied the customer sadly, "No, it was geraniums my wife told me to water while she was gone."

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I asked my phone, "Siri, why am I so bad with women?"
She said, "I'm Alexa you моrоn."

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A lawyer who was upset at the verdict that was handed down to his client at the end of the case said. - Your honor with all due respect I accept your ruling. But if it may please the Court sir I'd like to know just WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE!

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When you get to be a certain age, there are two things you definitely don’t want to do in the same week...
Upgrade your prescription glasses and buy a full-length mirror!

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