One Liner Jokes, Short jokes

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Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.

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What does a Blonde say after multiple оrgаsмs?
Way to go team!

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OK MONDAY LET'S DO THIS!

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Boss:
"Working hard here, Jimmy?"
Jimmy:
"Ever since I heard you coming down the stairs, boss!"

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A company owner was asked a question, "How do you motivate your employees to be so punctual?"
He smiled & replied, "It's simple. I have 30 employees and 29 free parking spaces. One is paid parking."

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The renegade employee who defecated in an aquarium was accused of sharking his doodies.

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Boy 1:
"As long as you are in school, two things will always be your friends."
Boy 2:
"Who are they?
Boy1:
"Classwork and Homework!"

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All Bill asked for was a little good-night kiss, but Anne haughtily rebuffed him with, "I don't do that sort of thing on my first date!"
"Well," Bill replied with sarcasm, "how about on your last date?"

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Chuck Norris shot Bon Jovi in the heart for giving love a bad name.

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Chuck Norris knows what the double rainbow means.

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Chuck Norris won't fight Justin Bieber because he doesn't hit girls.

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What goes "Vroom... Screech... Vroom... Screech... Vroom... Screech?" A blonde at a flashing red light.

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Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears? A: So she wouldn't get Hearing Aides.

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A cowboy was walking down the street with his new pet dachshund. The passerby asked him why a cowboy would own that kind of dog. The cowboy answered, "Well, somebody told me to get along little doggie."

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Which country is filled with very poor singers? Singapore.

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Cop: So, I’m writing you a ticket for driving alone in the carpool lane.
Criminal: You’re going to feel really sтuрid when you look in my trunk!

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Did you hear about the blonde man that locked his keys in his car? A: Took him an hour to get his family out w/ a coat hanger.

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"The man who was shot is named Harry Whittington. He's a high powered Republican lawyer, he was very lucky. They say the only reason that he wasn't killed is he was wearing the body armor that never got shipped to our troops." -- Jimmy Kimmel

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