One Liner Jokes, Short jokes

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Jupiter's Great Red Spot isn't a storm. It's where Chuck Norris puts his victims.

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Prison is just one word to you...
But for some people, it's a whole sentence.

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Cleaning mud can lead to a life of grime. It's a slippery slop.

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Descartes walked into a bar and ordered a вееr.
“Want another?” asked the bartender.
“I think not,” Descartes replied. Then he disappeared.

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I dont care about the museum, I only care that people think Im the kind of guy who goes to museums.

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What did the blonde do when he heard that 90% of accidents occur within five miles of home? He moved ten miles away.

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What do you get when you cross an impressionist painter with a New York City cab driver? A: You get Vincent Van Go Fuск Yourself.

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“Brewery workers demand for concessional вееr for their consumption, was considered on a case by case basis, and a ration-ale decision was reached by the management.”

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"I wonder why old man Smith puts all his savings under his pillow every night?"
"Maybe he wants people to know that he has enough money to retire on?"

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A customer walked into a bar and said, “I’ll have a pint of less, please.”
“Less?” queried the bartender. “What’s that?”
“I don’t know either,” said the customer, “but my doctor told me to drink less.”

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The guy who sipped his beers was into malt licker.

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What does a blonde do when she wakes up? Go home!

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Did you hear about the new household cleaner just put on the market? It's called "Bachelor."Why?Because it works fast, and leaves no ring.

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When you die, which part of your body is LAST to die?
Your eyes... they dilate!

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In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Chucksized.

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How did the blonde break her arm? A: she fell out of a tree while she was raking leaves.

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What do Blondes say after sеx? A1: Thanks Guys. A2: Are you boys all in the same band? A3: Do you guys all play for the Green Bay Packers?

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I'd like to build a barn over Christmas, if I can find space in my shed-yule.

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