One Liner Jokes, Short jokes

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Halloween not only stays fun, but gets funner -- if thats a word. Like, Halloween when youre a kid, you dress up in a costume: free candy. You grow up, dress up in a costume: drunк as ваlls. Its awesome

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Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant.
The steak did what it was told.

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Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.

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So they ask me, Would you like to answer your secret security password question? I think, Oh yeah, surely I can answer a question posed by slightly younger me.

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I do not understand why people write letters to magazines. It accomplishes nothing; its pointless. [If] you want to see your name in print that bad, write on a piece of paper and look at it: Ah, there it is. Just as I always dreamed.

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When Arnold says "I'll be back" in the Terminator movie it is implied that he's going to ask Chuck Norris for help.

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Chuck Norris was originally cast as Jack Bauer in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to кill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.

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On her way home from a long trip, a blonde drove past a sign that said "CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES". By the time she drove eight miles, she had cleaned 43 restrooms.

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I made the mistake of moving in with a hippie. Hippie roommate -- horrible mistake. Apparently, when they say peace and love, what they really mean is filthy and annoying.

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A Lawyer was addressing a doctor in court.
Lawyer: Dr. Kirby, did you say the victim was stabbed in the jungle?
Doctor Kirby: No, I said he was stabbed in the lumbar region.

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I didn't want to walk in the woods. But I was forest.

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What's the difference between Viаgrа and Al Gore..... Viаgrа really works !

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Did you hear about the Hindu yogi who was having a filling put in a tooth? When the dentist asked him if he wanted novocaine, the yogi said,
"No. I can transcend dental medication."

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What do you call two blondes driving a convertible with the top down?
Dual Airbags!

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What does a blonde think an innuendo is? An Italian suppository.

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Three blondes are sitting on a park bench eating ice cream cones. One is suскing hers, one is biting hers, one is licking hers. Which one is married? The one with the wedding ring.

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What did the blonde do when her tooth fell out?
She tried to glue it back on with toothpaste.

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Why do Blondes like tilt steering? Because theres more head room.

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