One Liner Jokes, Short jokes

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Proof that Sarah Palin's child isn't developmentally delayed is that he can do math. In fact, Trig functions.

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I was recently sharing with my father how bad my college football team had lost to a major rival 58-0 and that it couldn't get any worse.
Dad, in his infinite wisdom indicated, "The score could have been 65-0."

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“Intestine is somebody taking an exam right now.”

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Grandma soiled herself for the umpteenth time. She's up to her usual shiт nan agains.

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As I was studying grammar, I realized that music star Dolly was no longer attractive. It must have been the Past Parton Supple.

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Sure, I'm overweight and flatulent – but is that so flabber gas sting?

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When the Muslim vacationer landed in New York during a heat wave, he was immediately arrested by Homeland Security. “But, but,” the unsuspecting tourist protested, “all I said was ‘gee, it's hot!‘”

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Q: Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator?
A: She couldn't find the 10 key.

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If соn is the opposite of pro, who's surprised that Congress is the opposite of progress?

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What are a shark’s two most favorite words?
Man overboard!

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A man asks, “God, why did you make woman so beautiful?” God responded, ”So you would love her.” The man asks, “But God, why did you make her so dumb?” God replied, “So she would love you.”

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You're not fат, you're just... easier to see.

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Why name hurricanes lame names, like Sandy? Name that shiт Hurricane Death Megatron 300 and I guarantee niggаs be evacuating like they need to.

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My mother-in-law got her mammaries replaced by suction cups. Now whenever she leans in for a kiss, I get ma stuck to me.

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A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

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The word "Воов" is the Perfect word. The B looks like a top view of them, the 2 Os look like a front view, and the b looks like a side view. perfectly engineered!

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Just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year, not to cause any trouble but shouldn't that be an even number?

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Isn't it weird how when a cop drives by you feel paranoid instead of protected.

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