One Liner Jokes, Short jokes

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Here’s a FedEx joke…
Actually, you’ll get it tomorrow.

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Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do!

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I hate it when people get simple sayings wrong. I mean it's not rocket surgery.

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You know you're a bad driver when your GPS says "In 400 feet, stop and let me out."

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What travel 100 miles per hour underground? “A mole on a motorbike.”

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Why don't sheep shrink when they get wet?

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When Mr. Maxwell’s wife left him he couldn’t sleep.
“She took the bed!”

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Multiply 111,111,111 by 111,111,111 the answer may surprise you.

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My wife started smoking today so I had to slow her down and luве her up.

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Would a 6 pound baby with 3 pound ваlls be Half-Nuts!

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Everytime I do bench-press.
I press the bench

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Q:What Does A Cannibal Call A Phone Book?
A:A Menu For Delivery

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Why do people walk backwards?
To reverse park.

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I would think you'd have to be open minded to be a brain surgeon...

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It can be fatal to live too long...

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Why do bicycles fall over?
Because they're two-tired!

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Donald Trump for president
I сrаск up every time

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My big toe has no problem finding a piece of furniture in a dark room.

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