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Apparently Kate and William have decided to give their new baby the humorous name of ‘Webecca’ so when she grows up people will think she has a speech impediment.

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I asked Barack Obama if we could get together later, and he said Yes We Can!

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A liberal is just a conservative that hasn't been mugged yet.

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What’s the difference between an actor and a politician? An actor has better script writers with more believable story-lines.

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Why do we have elections in November?
Could it be that is the best month to select turkeys?

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The economy is so bad that:Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal.
Oh Great!! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by
The people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!

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A general election is like choosing which end of the dildо to get fuскеd with next

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Nominated for quote of the year is the statement made by Texas Congressman Diск Armey when asked:
"If you had been in President Clinton's place, would you have resigned?"
Armey responded:
"If I were in the President's place, I would not have gotten a chance to resign. I would be laying in a pool of my own blood, looking up and listening to Mrs. Armey saying, "How do I reload this dамn thing?"

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This Clown Craze has gone too far.
I mean think about it
Donald Trump President of America

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Why are most politicans in the closet or gаy? Because they can only mandate.

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Tony Blair and George W Bush had been sent to hеll. The Devil had prepared two cells for them. Tony Blair walked into this dingy cold room that had rats running all over it. The Devil said,
"Tony Blair, this is your eternal punishment!" George W Bush was not looking forward to his cell, so imagine his surprise when he entered a beautiful pink room with Pamela Anderson inside. The Devil announced, "Pamela Anderson, this is your eternal punishment!"

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Did you know that a group of baboons is called a congress…
Well that explain it all now doesn’t it

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I’ll never forgot 9/11, it was a terrible day but sometimes beautiful surpises can bloom from tragic seeds. For example, my house actually climbed 2 places in the list of world’s tallest buildings.

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A dog and a chicken walked into a bar. The bartender started to laugh...
The dog leaned over and whispered in the chicken’s ear, "Do you still have the ALCU on speed dial? I think we have a case here!"

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The veteran politician, not known for his public speaking skills, was going to give a speech at the Olympics. He looked at the teleprompter and began, "O, O, O, O, O."
An aid quickly ran over and told him, "That is the logo sir."

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A Politician rang up the "self help" line and said "I'm fed up with my life and am going to кill myself"
The operator said "where are you". The politician said "I am on the train track under the bridge"
The operator said "please stay on the line"????

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Barrack Obama won the election on a platform of “change”.
I say “what change?”, what’s so new about a black guy who can’t pay his bills and has massive debt problems?

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Don’t tell me I don’t know what it’s like to get rареd ladies…..
I pay taxes too.

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