Political Joke

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Just got an email from a Nigerian king asking for my bank details to send me $1 million. They must think I’m sтuрid, after going to the trouble of kidnapping his daughter and holding her in my basement I need at least $10 million.

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I was going to make a joke about Hamas but it Israeli inappropriate.

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A Russian spy, a sеxuаl predator and a billionaire walk into a bar.
The bar tender says:
“What can I get you Mr President?”

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Hillary is mad at Sатаn…
Hillary:
“Sатаn! We had a deal! Where’s the election victory that you promised me?”
Satan:
“Where’s the soul that you said you had?”

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My cousin is such a hypocrite. He said he was against the death penalty but last week he killed himself.

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The electric power was off briefly at the White House, but the electricity has been restored…
Unfortunately, there are still quite a few dim bulbs at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.
And many citizens would like all the power in Washington DC cut off.

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Dildоs are illegal in Texas but guns aren’t.
Probably explains the low number of dildо-related murders in the area.

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What’s brown and sticky?
Barack Obama after a wаnк.

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Earlier today Prince Philip sent a message to the President wishing him a happy Independence Day. His message said “You did a great job destroying the alien mothership and humanity is forever grateful.”

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Just been arrested at the airport. Apparently “How many do you need?” is a bad response to the question “Do you have any firearms?”

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Standing on an Ikea (Swedish) podium, behind bullet proof Sаinт Gobain Glass (French), smiling at a 4K Sony (Japanese) Video camera, speaking into a Dolby Sennheiser (German) microphone, with vigorous hand gestures giving a glimpse of a Rolex (Swiss) under the cuff, he (Trump) patriotically said ..
“Buy American, Hire American, Stop Immigrants”. standing beside a Slovenian wife.

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Why are scousers similar to batman? Because Robin helps them to survive.

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Why do most people find wars unnecessary and brutal? Because most people don‘t have shares in arms companies.

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Who was the President before JFK got assassinated?
Jfk

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Do The Americans have ‘Hung Parliaments’ like we do ?
Or do they just shoot the winner ?

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Why do people always assume drug dealers are dangerous people who carry guns? Fedex drivers are perfectly respectable people and they deliver drugs all the time.

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A carrier рigеоn stopped to rest on the window sill in the Pentagon building. Close behind him came another рigеоn who stopped off to talk. “Where you going?’ asked the second рigеоn. “To section M to deliver an order,” answered the first. “What’s the number of the order?”
“234XZY-Q78955-421YYTX,” replied the first. “Better get a move on,” said the second. “I got an order to rescind it.”

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Don't steal. That's the government's job.

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