Political Joke

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There was some upset at Margaret Thatcher’s funeral when the decorations were being prepared. More specifically over the drawing pins used to put them up. The upset was caused because a cheap Polish imported brand was used; people said the organizers should have supported British businesses. Apparently some people were so upset they threatened to go on hunger strike. I thought we'd seen the end of the Pole Tacks Diets.

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Hillary is mad at Sатаn…
Hillary:
“Sатаn! We had a deal! Where’s the election victory that you promised me?”
Satan:
“Where’s the soul that you said you had?”

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My cousin is such a hypocrite. He said he was against the death penalty but last week he killed himself.

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Dildоs are illegal in Texas but guns aren’t.
Probably explains the low number of dildо-related murders in the area.

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What’s brown and sticky?
Barack Obama after a wаnк.

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Earlier today Prince Philip sent a message to the President wishing him a happy Independence Day. His message said “You did a great job destroying the alien mothership and humanity is forever grateful.”

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Just been arrested at the airport. Apparently “How many do you need?” is a bad response to the question “Do you have any firearms?”

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Standing on an Ikea (Swedish) podium, behind bullet proof Sаinт Gobain Glass (French), smiling at a 4K Sony (Japanese) Video camera, speaking into a Dolby Sennheiser (German) microphone, with vigorous hand gestures giving a glimpse of a Rolex (Swiss) under the cuff, he (Trump) patriotically said ..
“Buy American, Hire American, Stop Immigrants”. standing beside a Slovenian wife.

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Why are scousers similar to batman? Because Robin helps them to survive.

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Wouldn’t it be quite funny if Donald Trump gave a press interview & someone pulled a gun out… Just to hear his bodyguards shout… ‘Donald Duck

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Why do most people find wars unnecessary and brutal? Because most people don‘t have shares in arms companies.

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Who was the President before JFK got assassinated?
Jfk

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Why do people always assume drug dealers are dangerous people who carry guns? Fedex drivers are perfectly respectable people and they deliver drugs all the time.

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A carrier рigеоn stopped to rest on the window sill in the Pentagon building. Close behind him came another рigеоn who stopped off to talk. “Where you going?’ asked the second рigеоn. “To section M to deliver an order,” answered the first. “What’s the number of the order?”
“234XZY-Q78955-421YYTX,” replied the first. “Better get a move on,” said the second. “I got an order to rescind it.”

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Don't steal. That's the government's job.

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The last time someone listened to a Bush, a bunch of people wandered in the desert for 40 years!

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Q. Who is the most tech-savvy Israeli Prime Minister?
A. Netandyahoo

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The North Korean leader Kim Jong Un recently announced he’s gonna be giving out a prize for the best film that’s made about him. The prize is 15 years.

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