Political Joke

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Q. What is a conservative?
A. A conservative is an X-liberal that got mugged.

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A Muslim walks into a bar.
Lots of people get killed.

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The following conversation took place between Hillary Clinton and Sатаn.
Hillary: I thought you said I was gonna win the election!!
Satan: I thought you said you had a soul.

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Having Donald J. Trump give a lecture on business ethics would be is like having a lереr give you a facial

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Anyway, he’s just been expelled for grabbing his teacher by the рussy.

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Why are professional skiers always politically correct?
Because it's a slippery slоре!

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Q. Why is the EU full?
A. They just lost 1 GB.

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A lot of people criticize the American government’s policy of bombing foreign countries to make them more peaceful but on the plus side it’s a great way for Americans to learn geography.

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(Little brother to his older sister) What is political correctness?
(Older sister) It's something you're not suppose to talk about.
(Little brother) How am I going to find out what it is if I can't talk about it?
(Older sister) You can talk about it but you have to talk about it in the right way.
(Little brother) How do I talk about it the right way?
(Older Sister) Just don't say anything and you can't go wrong!
(Little brother) How am I suppose to communicate and tell people how I feel.
(Older Sister) I haven't got that part figured out yet, it's a slippery slоре.
(Little brother) What's a slippery slоре?

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A US Marine enters the Catholic Church confessional booth in Jacksonville , FL.
He tells the priest, “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. Last night, I beat the sh!t out of a flag burner and an Obama supporter.”
The priest says, “My son, I am here to forgive your sins, not to discuss your community service.”

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Now that Donald Trump has been elected, there is speculation as to whether Chris Christie will be part of the cabinet….
…
…. or stealing snacks from it.

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Don’t know why everyone suddenly thinks North Korea’s leader Kim Jong-Un is crazy. It was obvious after he made that song ‘Gangnam Style’ that something wasn’t quite right with him.

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I was going to make a joke about Hamas but it Israeli inappropriate.

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A Russian spy, a sеxuаl predator and a billionaire walk into a bar.
The bar tender says:
“What can I get you Mr President?”

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There was some upset at Margaret Thatcher’s funeral when the decorations were being prepared. More specifically over the drawing pins used to put them up. The upset was caused because a cheap Polish imported brand was used; people said the organizers should have supported British businesses. Apparently some people were so upset they threatened to go on hunger strike. I thought we'd seen the end of the Pole Tacks Diets.

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Hillary is mad at Sатаn…
Hillary:
“Sатаn! We had a deal! Where’s the election victory that you promised me?”
Satan:
“Where’s the soul that you said you had?”

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My cousin is such a hypocrite. He said he was against the death penalty but last week he killed himself.

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The electric power was off briefly at the White House, but the electricity has been restored…
Unfortunately, there are still quite a few dim bulbs at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.
And many citizens would like all the power in Washington DC cut off.

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