Programmer Jokes

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Why did the lumberjack get nowhere with the internet?
He kept logging on and off.

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You realize that you are dependent of the internet when:
You forget in what year you are.
You get out from you’re room and you discover that you’re parent moved and you don’t even know when that happened.
You dream only of quick connections.
You open you’re interphone when you get out from you’re room so you can hear when you get an e-mail.

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What goes ‘choo choo choo’ while online?
Thomas the search engine.

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Software isn’t released, it’s allowed to escape.

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Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and restart.
Order shall return.

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Two packets walk into a bar.
One of the packets asks the bartender for a drink, and gets no response
The other packet tries and the bartender shrugs him off.
One packet leans to the other and says, "The quality of service here is terrible!"

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C program run.
C program crash.
C programmer quit.

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Q: What do you get when you cross a gorilla and a computer?
A: Hairy Reasoner.

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What did the psychiatrist say to the android kleptomaniac?
DON'T keep taking the tablets!

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Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.

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System restore disk, do not erase!

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Did you know you can download the whole Tyson-Holyfield fight off the internet?
It doesn’t take much memory – just two Bytes.

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Once upon a time, a computer programmer drowned at sea.
Many were on the beach and heard him cry out, “F1! F1!”, but no one understood.

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Windows: Weapon off mass destruction!

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Double your drive space.
Delete Windows!

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How do insects communicate?
By bee mail.

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The website you seek Cannot be located, but Countless more exist.

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Having been erased, The document you’re seeking Must now be retyped.

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