Funny Quotes

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“Never underestimate the power of sтuрid people in a large group.”
George Calin

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“A slаvе is one who waits for someone to come and free him.”
Ezra Pound.

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“Birds born in a cage think flying is an illness.”
Alejandro Jodorowksy

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“No one is more hated than he who speaks the truth.”
Plato

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- ”The opinion of 10,000 men is of no value if none of them knows anything about the subject.”
Marcus Aurelius

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When stupidity is considered patriotism, it is unsafe to be intelligent.
- Issac Asimov

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"In honor of the late George Carlin, here are seven more words you can't say on TV: ''And the Emmy goes to Bob Saget."
Jeffrey Ross

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Politics: “Poli” a Latin word meaning “many”; and "tics" meaning “bloodsucking creatures”.
Robin Williams

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Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
Robert Bloch

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“I’m sorry, if you were right, I’d agree with you.”
Robin Williams

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Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
George Burns

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“It’s been a tough week. I bought myself a memory foam mattress and now it’s trying to blackmail me.”
Gary Delaney

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Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
Oscar Wilde

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A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, “At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas."
Claude Pepper

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You know you’re getting old when you stop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.
George Burns

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Did anybody ever consider that cannibalism would resolve both overpopulation – and world hunger?
Jonathan Swift

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If at first you don’t succeed . . . so much for skydiving.
Henny Youngman

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Grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance–waiting for the bathroom.
Bob Hope

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