School Jokes

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“Waking your kids up for school the first day after a break is almost as much fun as birthing them was.”
Jenny McCarthy

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Q: Where is the best place to get a ice cream cone?
A: IN A SUNDAY SCHOOL.

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Sending your kid to catholic school is the easiest way to guarantee your kid will not be catholic.

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When the nuns are away the catholic school girls will play

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A nun at a Catholic school asked her students what they want to be when they grow up.
Little Mary declares, "I want to be a рrоsтiтuте."
"What did you say?" asks the nun, totally shocked.
"I said I want to be a рrоsтiтuте," Mary repeats.
"Oh, thank heavens," says the nun. "I thought you said 'a Protestant!'"

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My chem teacher once asked me what S was on the periodic table, and I didn’t know so I said “the element of Surprise,” apparently he was surprised with my answer.

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A student isn't paying attention in a Chemistry class.
The teacher notices this.
"JOSEPH!" She shouts.
Joseph, the student, snaps his head up, to look at the teacher.
"Have you even heard a WORD I've said?!" she yells.
Joseph nods.
"Oh REALLY?! Then, I hope you won't mind telling me and the rest of the class the 116th element on the periodic table!"
Joseph looks at her blankly and goes, "Uuh..."

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What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Hamwork.

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Why did it take the teen pig so long to get ready for school in the morning?
She was very piggy when it comes to choosing what to wear!

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Michael Jackson was once a guitar teacher, but he got fired because he fingered a minor

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What does a taco do after school? Salsa.

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Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?
Mr. Bean: 9 Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?
Mr. Bean: Are you trying to fool me, you've just twisted the figure, the answer is 6!!

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Why is herbology Slytherin students’ favorite class?
Because it’s in the greenhouse.

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What did Hermione do when Harry and Ron took the flying car to school?
Finally relaxed.

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Did I tell you about my hot math teacher?
She derives me crazy....

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Why was the Calculus teacher bad at baseball?
He was better at fitting curves than hitting them.

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Why did the algebra students throw bottles of hand cream across the classroom?
They were investigating projectile lotion.

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When I went into my art lesson covered in yeast and flower, my teacher said I was the perfect roll-model.

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