School Jokes

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Hillary Clinton goes to a gifted-student primary school in New York to talk about
The world. After her talk she offers question time.
One little boy puts up his hand. Hillary asks him what his name is. “Kenneth,” he says
And what is your question, Kenneth?” she asks.
I have three questions,” he says.
“1st - whatever happened in Benghazi?
2nd - why would you run for president if you are not capable of handling two e-mail accounts?
And, 3rd - whatever happened to the missing six-billion-dollars while you were Secretary
Of State?”
Just then the веll rings for recess. Hillary informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.
When they resume Hillary says, “Okay, where were we? Oh, that’s right, question time. Who has a
Question?”
A different boy - little Johnny - puts his hand up.
Hillary points to him and asks him what his name is. “Johnny,” he says.
“And what is your question, Johnny?” she asks.
“I have five questions,” he says.
“1st - whatever happened in Benghazi?
2nd - why would you run for president if you are not capable of handling two e-mail accounts?
3rd - whatever happened to the missing six-billion dollars while you were Secretary of State?
4th - why did the recess веll go off 20 minutes early?”
And 5th - where’s Kenneth?”…
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I really have no use for the FBI, the CIA, the FCC, the FDA and all those three letter government agencies that intrude on our lives claiming they will make things better. Usually it’s the other way around.
Most of all I feel contempt for the EPA, the “Environmental Protection Agency” that decreed toilet manufacturers redesign their water systems to flush on 1.6 gallons of water or less… Half the water means сrар (figuratively) if it means twice the flush… which it does… and three flushes if someone drops a big enough deuce.
But the kids of today are missing out on one of life’s boyhood pleasures that we rarely told anyone about because of the punishment that would follow: The Swirlie.
The target or mark was usually a crybaby kid in first or second grade. By advance planning, three, four, five of us in 5th and 6th grade would lure him to the boy’s bathroom, tip him upside down and dunk him in a flushing toilet. It was almost worth getting caught as the little kid begged and shrieked as his hair went ’round and ’round in the water, swirling in the bowl as we laughed our аssеs off.
Alas, a childhood rite of passage no longer exists thanks to the “guvvamint” and their green rules.
I fondly remember little Dudley, squirming, shrieking, blubbering and all that soaking wet hair… Priceless!!!
(And it was only a 3 day suspension.)
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A boy is born without a body and miraculously survives. Even though he has no body parts below the neck he manages to make it through high school and on his 18th birthday his father takes him out for his first drink. …
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The boy drinks his first вееr and instantly grows a torso. In utter shock, the father quickly asks the bartender for another вееr. The bartender reluctantly pours the boy another drink. After chugging it, the boy suddenly sprouts a left arm. …
…
Very eager and excited, the father orders another drink. The bartender stated that 2 is enough for a boy’s first time and that he shouldn’t go overboard. The father is furious at the remark and demands that he give his son another round. After a big sigh, the bartender hands the boy another вееr. In a matter of seconds, the boy downs the bottle and grows a right arm.
The entire bar is enraptured at this point and begin chanting for one more вееr. The bartender flat out refuses. In a storm of frustration and excitement, the father jumps the counter and grabs a bottle of whiskey. The boy drinks the bottle dry and instantly grows two legs.
On his newly gained legs the boy stumbles out of the bar into the street and is hit by a truck and killed on impact.
The entire bar is in silence.
“Well,” says the bartender, “I guess he should have quit while he was ahead.”
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