Science jokes

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Proof of Global warming

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Summary of organic chemistr Carbon is a whore

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If you are driving a stolen tesla, would it be called edison?

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Did you hear about the new book about anti-gravity?
I just can't seem to put it down.

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Schrödinger's dоuсhеваg
Оnе who makes dоuсhеваg statements, particularity sexist, racist or otherwise bigoted ones, then decides whether they were ”just joking” or dead serious based оп whether other реорlе in the group approve or not.

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when lecturers first mention cloning to new undergrads

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Study 3 years for degree. Study 3 more for PhD. Join lab, start working.
Spend years studying problem.
Form hypothesis, gather evidence.
Test hypothesis, form conclusions.
Report findings, clear peer review.
Findings published, reported in press.
Guy on internet: "Вullshiт."

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If you brake the laws of humans, you will go to jail,
If you brake the laws of god, you will go to hеll,
If you brake the laws of physics, you will go to Sweden to collect your Nobel Price

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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sеx drive by 95%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.

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Don't trust atoms. They make up everything.

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Q: How do astronomers organize a party?
A: They planet.

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Scientists have proven that there are two things in the air that have been known to cause women to get pregnant: their legs.

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Zombie

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My brother wanted to play cowboys and indians
So I put on a ten gallon hat and and chaps and he went to MIT and graduated in computer science.

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Me: I'm so sorry, my dog ate my homework
Computer Science Professor: Your dog ate your coding assignment?
**Awkward silence**
Me: It took him a couple bytes

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Why are there a ton of Religious Holidays but no Science Holidays?
Because science works.

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This is Pluto! Pluto used to be the ninth planet of the solar system until 2006 when scientists removed it from the list and declared it а dwarf planet. But Pluto continued orbiting the Sun as before

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- So, what is your zodiac sign?
- Dinosaur.
- But that one don't even exist.
- None of them exist

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