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As a painless way to save money, a young couple arranged that every time they have sеx, the husband put his pocket change into a china piggy bank on the bedside table.
One night, while being unusually athletic, he accidentally knocked the bank to the floor where it smashed.
To his surprise, among the masses of coins, there were handfuls of five and ten dollar bills.
He asks his wife what's up.
"Well," she replied, "not everyone is as cheap as you are."
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A boy went into a hоаrе house and said he wanted an AIDS's infected рrоsтiтuте.
The woman at reception said room 9 top of the hall.
He went to the room and did his business.When he was leaving she asked him why he wanted her she being aids infected.
The boy answered,
"When I go home i'll sleep with the babysitter then my dad will sleep with the babysitter then my dad will sleep with my mam then in the morning my mam will fuск the milkman and that the ВАSТАRD that ran over my dog.
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Лас Вегас Las Vegas Вечер. Un type lit dans un journal que les femmes en Laponie donnent 100 euros aux hommes chaque fois qu’ils leur font l’amour… Вечер. Мъжът се прибира от работа Die Ehefrau sieht ihren Mann die Koffer packen und fragt ihn A man comes home to find his wife of 10 years packing her bags. Вечер. Муж прибегает с работы и Robert came home from work one day to find his wife on the front porch with her bags packed. 'Just where the heck do you think you're going!' Мъж се кара със жена си затова Een koppel woont in Seattle Вечер Еден човек се враќа дома од работа и без да каже збор En rentrant du travail Llega la mujer a la casa y el marido está preparando una maleta. La mujer le pregunta. ¿ Qué estás haciendo? Estoy preparando una maleta. ¿ Y para qué? Para irme a Australia. ¿ Y para qué? Dicen... Un homme prépare sa valise avec entrain. Sa femme rentre du boulot et le surprend. Surprise Γυρίζοντας κατάκοπος ο σύζυγος στο σπίτι του
A man was telling his wife that he wanted to go to this country in which women paid men twenty dollars every time they had sеx.
She replied, "I do too!"
He gets confused and asks why.
She tells him, "I'd like to see how long you can last on forty dollars a month."
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Two old ladies were outside smoking one day when it started to rain.
One of the ladies took out a соndом, cut off the tip, and put it over her cigarette.
The other lady said, 'Hey, that's a good idea.
What's that called?'
The lady responded, 'It's a соndом.'
The other lady said, 'Where can you get one of those?'
She said, 'Oh, just about any grocery of drug store.'
So, the next day, the lady went to a local drug store, went up to the cashier, and said, 'I need to get some condoms.'
The cashier looked at her puzzled (because of her age) and said, 'UH, what size?'
The lady responded, 'Hmm, one that would fit a camel.'
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If sеx is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?
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Късна вечер. В поликлиниката звъни телефона. Ein Anruf mitten in der Nacht beim Arzt: Por la noche suena el teléfono en la centralita de urgencias del hospital: - Hola Anruf beim Notdienst: "Kommen Sie bitte schnell En kvinna ringer till läkaren mitt i natten: - Skynda er! Vår baby åt just upp en kondom! Strax efteråt ringer samma kvinna igen: - Ni behöver inte komma Съпруга се обажда на доктора посред нощ. — Докторе Un médecin est réveillé en pleine nuit par la sonnerie du téléphone. D'une voix encore endormie il répond : - Allô... à l'autre bout du fil Une femme téléphone affolée au pédiatre en pleine nuit: - Docteur! C'est terrible Mitten in der Nacht klingelt beim Arzt das Telefon: "Herr Doktor Een vrouw belt in paniek naar de dokter: Vrouw: Dokter u moet vlug langskomen Webbmastern för AllaRoligaHistorier. Se ringde sin husläkare och lät hysterisk: - Min femåriga son svalde just en kondom! - Var inte orolig Puhelu Laihialla: - Herra tohtori
A man calls 911 emergency: " Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a соndом!"
After five minutes, the same man calls back: "It is ok, I found another one."
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A Koala and a Prostitiute had just finished having sеx, so the Рrоsтiтuте said, "All right, now give me my money!"
The Koala replied, "Money, what for?"
"What for?", the Рrоsтiтuте growled,
"Look up Рrоsтiтuте in the dictionary and read what it says."
So the Koala looked up рrоsтiтuте in the dictionary.
It said, "Рrоsтiтuте- A woman who is paid to have sеx."
" Okay," said the Koala, " now you look up Koala in the dictionary, and read what it says."
So the Рrоsтiтuте looked up Koala in the dictionary.
It said, "Koala- A furry animal who eats bush, then leaves."
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Man to friend: ‘I read a survey that said half the men in the UK маsтurвате in the shower, and the other half sing.
Do you know what they sing?’
Friend: ‘No I don’t.’
Man: ‘I thought you wouldn’t.’
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Q: What's the difference between driving in the fog and eating рussy?
A: At least when you are eating рussy you can see the аsshоlе in front of you.
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A woman heads to the doctors office for her usual checkup.
While there, the doc notices a strange rash on her chest in the shape of an H and inquires about it, "Oh, my boyfriend likes to wear his Harvard sweater during sеx."
The next day, another woman comes in, for a checkup.
While there, the doctor notices a strange rash on her chest in the shape of a Y and inquires about it,"Oh, my boyfriend is really into wearing his Yale sweater during sеx."
The next day, another woman comes in, again, for a simple checkup.
This woman too has a rash on her chest, and the doctor, catching on with the trend, asks,"So, Does your boyfriend go to Wisconsin?"
The girl replies, "Nah, but my girlfriend goes to Michigan."
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The two old coots were both only a year short of retirement from the assembly line, but one Monday morning that didn't keep Joe from
boasting to Manny about his sеxuаl endurance.
"Three times," gasped Manny admiringly. "How'd you do it?" "It was easy."
Joe looked down modestly. "I made love to my wife, and then I rolled over and took a ten-minute nap.
When I woke up again, I made love to her again and took another ten-minute nap. And then I put it to her again.
Can you believe it! I woke up this morning feeling like a bull, I'll tell you." "I gotta try it," said Manny. "Lorraine won't believe it's happening."
So that night he made love to his wife, took a ten-minute nap, made love to her again, took another nap, woke up and made love to her a third time, then rolled over and fell sound asleep.
He woke up feeling like a million bucks, pulled on his clothes, and ran to the factory, where he found his boss waiting outside for him.
"What's up, Boss?" he asked. "I've been working for you for twenty years and never been late once.
You aren't going to hold these twenty minutes against me now, are you?"
"What twenty minutes?" growled the boss.
"Where were you on Tuesday and Wednesday?"
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Wo kommt Fritzchen her? Πελαργός вовочка спрашивает у отца: - а как я появился на свет? - тебя... Иванчо пита баща си - Папа Иванчо пита баща си. - Тате Fritzchen und sein Vater sitzen gemeinsam beim Frühstück. Fritzchen: Stolz kommt der Vater aus der Klinik und sagt zu seinem Sohn : "Der Storch hat dir ein kleines Schwesterchen gebracht!" Da sagt der Sohn: "Na toll El papá de Jaimito le dice a su hijo: -Oye Jaimito Papa zu Fritzchen: "Der Storch hat dir letzte Nacht eine Schwester gebracht." "Mensch Papi Jasiu pyta ojca: - Tato Jantje vraagt aan vader: Papa Lilla Olle till sin pappa: - Pappa. Hur kom jag till världen? - Jo du förstår... Det var storken som kom med dej. - Men är du dum i huvudet eller?! Utbrister Olle. Hela stan vimlar utav kvinnor Pappan till sonen: - Snart kommer storken med ett litet syskon till dig. Sonen: - Jäkla pucko! Hela stan är full av brudar Jantje en zijn vader lopen in het park. Vraagt Jantje aan zijn vader “Papa Lilla Ola En far siger til sønnen – “Nu kommer storken med din lillesøster” – Sønnen svarer:”Du er da en idiot Llega Panchito con su mamá: Mami Pikkubasisti esittää äidilleen kysymyksen: “Mistä lapset tulee äiti?” Siihen äiti vastaa hätäisesti: “Lapset tulee haikaran kyydissä.” Pikkubasisti kysyy äidiltään toisenkin kysymyksen: “Onko isäni... En pappa kommer hem till sonen och berättar glatt: - Nu min son Вовочка запитує у батька - Як я з'явився? Тебе лелека приніс. Тато так багато гарних дівчат “Mamma come sono nata io?”. “Ti ha portato la cicogna”. “E l’ha trombata il papa’?”. Fritzchen fragt: „Papa Lille Per: "Pappa Przychodzi mały Jasiu do taty i pyta: - Jak ja się znalazłem na świecie? Tata myśli co mu powiedzieć. - Jasiu Petriukas klausia tėvo: - Tėti Ein 5-jähriger wendet sich an seinen Vater. "Papa
A 6 year old boy asks his daddy: Daddy, where did I come from to this life?
- You were brought by a stork.
- That's strange, you have such a pretty wife, but nevertheless you're fuскing a stork.
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Nadat Adam en Eva een paar dagen op aarde waren I begynnelsen skapade Gud Adam. Adam satt och tittade på månen Depois de uns dias After a few days
GOD said, "Adam, I want you to do something for me."
"Gladly, Lord," replied Adam.
"What do you want me to do?"
"Go down into the valley."
"What's a valley?" asked Adam.
God explained to him, then said, Cross the river."
"What's a river?"
God explained it to him, and then continued, "Go over the hill".
"What's a hill?"
God explained to Adam what a hill was, then said, "On the other side of the hill, you will find a cave."
"What's a cave?"
After God explained, he said, "In the cave you will find a woman."
Adam asked, "What's a woman?"
So God explained that to him too. He continued, "I want you to reproduce."
"How do I do that?"
"Jeez," God muttered under his breath. He then sighed and explained the birds and the bees to Adam. He
liked that concept very much, so he went down into the valley, across the river, over the hill and into the
cave where he found a woman."
A little while later, Adam returned and asked God, "What's a headache?"
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Дете пита майка си: Treffen sich zwei Frauen im Park Негърче пита майка си: Un ragazzino: - Mamma Sohn: "Papa A little boy asks his Mum "why am I black and you are white ?" "Don't even ask O garotinho vira-se para a mãe e pergunta: — Manhêêê! — O que é Fragt die Frau den Arzt Een blondje ligt op de verlostafel en het hoofdje van haar baby komt er uit. Warempel Fritzchen: Papa Mamo - Apu Op het ziekenhuis is er juist een vrouw aan het bevallen. Eerst komt het kopje van de baby tevoorschijn Pistike kérdezi az anyukáját: - Anya az mért van Mazs zēns jautā mammai: - Mamm Kisfiú odamegy az anyukájához: - Anyuci Mommy Ρωτάει το παιδί τον πατέρα του : - Μπαμπά
A little boy asked his mother:
Mummy, why are you white and I am black?
Don’t even ask me that, when I remember that party..., you are lucky that you don’t bark.
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Priest walks into a hotel reception and says 'I have booked a room for the night, but I hope the роrnоgrарhy on the television is disabled'.
The receptionist say 'You wеirdо, its normal роrn!'
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I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said Jeg spurgte en kinesisk pige om hendes nummer. Hun svarede ”Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight” Jeg sagde ”Wow! ” Så sagde hendes veninde ”Hun mener 666-3629.”
A guy asks a Chinese lady for her phone number she says, "Free, sеx, free, sеx, tonight."
The guy said," wow" and her friend says she means 363629.
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Kamasutra says:
If you suск one niррlе, the women herself offers the other one.
And that was the origin of "buy one get one free"!
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‘Its been a rough day. I put on a shirt and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off. I’m afraid to go to the bathroom.’
Rodney Dangerfield
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