There’s an elderly couple who has reached that point in life, where sеx isn’t part of the itinerary anymore. One night, the wife turns to her husband and says, “Everytime one of us wants to have a bit of a slap and tickle, we just have to say, "Washing machine.’” A night passes, and the husband leans over and whispers, “Washing machine.” The wife gives him a shove and informs him that she has a headache. A few nights go by and the same thing happens, but the husband is determined and he reckons he’ll just give it one more try. He leans over and whispers seductively, “Washing machine.” Yet again, the wife turns him away. However, a few moments pass and the wife’s needs arises so she rolls over and recites the word, but the husband turns over and says, “Sorry love, it was only a small wash so I did it by hand.”
A man walks into a bar and the bartender says,
"If you can make that horse over there laugh, you can get free drinks for the rest of the night." The man walks over, says something to the horse, it laughs, and he walks back over to the bar to collect his free drinks. The next night, the man goes back to the bar and the bartender asks the man if he can make the horse cry. The man walks over, does something to the horse, and it starts to cry. The bartender asks, "How did you make it cry?" The man replies,
"Well, to make the horse laugh last night I told it I had a вiggеr diск and to make it cry tonight I showed it."
A boy was going through his grandmother's wallet one night and found her ID card. "Grandma?" he asked,"How much do you weigh?" His grandmother replied, "That's not an appropriate question, Jimmy" He then asked,
"How old are you?" She again replied, "That's not appropriate, Jimmy." Finally he asked,
"Grandma, why did grandpa leave you?" Before she had time to answer, Jimmy looked at the card and said,
"Oh I see, it's because you got an 'F' in sеx."