Sports Jokes

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I heard Michael Schumacher’s former pit crew went to visit him.
They changed the wheels on his bed and drip in 5.4 seconds.

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Heres a list of puns not all of them are mine
1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork but the heavier ones need a crane.
2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fаn.”
6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!

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Boys:
“Hey, can billy come out and play baseball?”
Mom:
“That’s not funny, you know billy doesn’t have any arms and legs”
Boys:
“I know, we need a third base”

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I bet China can be the best baseball team, they took out the entire world with just a bat

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Why did the police 👮 go to a baseball ⚾️ game?
Because a player stole the base.

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What animal do you always find at a baseball game? A bat

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If you boil a funny воnе it becomes a laughing stock. That’s humerus.

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What burns up a football stadium???
A football ’ match ’

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Why did Rolf Harris meet underage kids?
To tie his kangaroo down sport

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Let’s take a look at the Swedish bench for today’s game. 12.99 from Ikea.

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Q)What do you call Iron Man when he can’t swim ?
A) Robert Drowney JR.

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What do you call a terrorist in a kids swimming pool
A bath bomb

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John : hi boss it is raining heavily today so I would not be coming
Boss: u stated in ur job application that swimming was it hobby so see u at at 11am

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Last Night I had a dream I was swimming in lemonade… turns out I peed the bed.

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This guy is boiling water the girl walks in and says “What are you doing” the guy says “I’m making Holy Water” She said “How?” He said “I’m boiling the hеll out of it”

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How to make holy water
1-grab a pot
2-put water in it
3-set the stove to 420 degrees
4-boil the hеll out of it

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I was boiling some water and said Water you will be mist

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I have a lot of eggculaint egg puns, get the yolk… oh come on don’t be hard boiled

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