Sports Jokes

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I played golf for the first time ever this morning.
As I was about to take my first shot I noticed that there were several people in the clubhouse watching me.
“Stay calm,” I thought, putting my ball on the tee, “you’ll do fine.”
As I took the shot I could see it heading directly for them.
“Fore!” I shouted as it smashed through the window.
“Are you some sort of fuскing rетаrd? screamed a bloke.
No, it’s my first time, I replied, picking up my ball, can I have my club back please?

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My wife claims I'm a baseball fanatic. She says all I ever read about is baseball. All I ever talk about is baseball. All I ever think about is baseball.
I told her she's way off base!

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Why are Southampton nicknamed The Saints ?
Because all their players have gone to a better place .

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Why did the home crowd scream with delight when their favorite batter got three strikes?
He just happened to be bowling at the time.

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I was watching the London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another runner dressed as an egg...
I thought, "This could be interesting."

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After removing a tiny fish from his hook and throwing it back into the water, the fisherman said:
“Don’t show up around here anymore without your parents!”

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I’ve been banned from the local football field for causing a nasty injury in the game last night.
I don’t know why, my lawnmower clearly touched the ball before going over the player.

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Why did the golf player take an extra pair of pants when he went out on the golf course?
Just in case he got a hole in one.

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I hurt myself at crossFit today...
Now I find myself making crosses while sitting down...
I call it Cross-Sit!

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Why does it get hot after a baseball game?
Because all the fans leave.

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I heard Michael Schumacher’s former pit crew went to visit him.
They changed the wheels on his bed and drip in 5.4 seconds.

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Heres a list of puns not all of them are mine
1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork but the heavier ones need a crane.
2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fаn.”
6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!

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"Most Deadly Sport"
Playing chicken with a Train!

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I bet China can be the best baseball team, they took out the entire world with just a bat

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Why did the police 👮 go to a baseball ⚾️ game?
Because a player stole the base.

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What animal do you always find at a baseball game? A bat

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If you boil a funny воnе it becomes a laughing stock. That’s humerus.

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What burns up a football stadium???
A football ’ match ’

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