Sports Jokes

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What burns up a football stadium???
A football ’ match ’

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Why did Rolf Harris meet underage kids?
To tie his kangaroo down sport

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Let’s take a look at the Swedish bench for today’s game. 12.99 from Ikea.

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What do you call a terrorist in a kids swimming pool
A bath bomb

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Q:Why can orphans swim
They have orfins

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John : hi boss it is raining heavily today so I would not be coming
Boss: u stated in ur job application that swimming was it hobby so see u at at 11am

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Last Night I had a dream I was swimming in lemonade… turns out I peed the bed.

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This guy is boiling water the girl walks in and says “What are you doing” the guy says “I’m making Holy Water” She said “How?” He said “I’m boiling the hеll out of it”

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How to make holy water
1-grab a pot
2-put water in it
3-set the stove to 420 degrees
4-boil the hеll out of it

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I was boiling some water and said Water you will be mist

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I have a lot of eggculaint egg puns, get the yolk… oh come on don’t be hard boiled

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My eggcellent egg yolks сrаск everyone up. If you don’t like them your just hard boiled

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My friend:What are you doing
Me:I´m making holy water
My friend:How?
Me:I´m boiling the hеll out of it.

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Why is the thief so good at basketball? because he can shoot, steal, and run

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Why shouldn’t you play basketball 🏀 with a pig 🐷?
Because he’s a ball hog.

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Did you hear the scores of the African basketball game?
It was Eight-Nothing

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Why is basketball such a messy sport?
Cuz the players are always dribbling everywhere!

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Why can’t a orphan play basketball
Because no one will be cheering them on

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