Sports Jokes

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Pool Player #1:
"I nicknamed the cue ball on my pool table 'Itch'."
Pool Player #2:
"Why?"
Pool Player #1:
"I'm always scratching it!"

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I played golf for the first time ever this morning.
As I was about to take my first shot I noticed that there were several people in the clubhouse watching me.
“Stay calm,” I thought, putting my ball on the tee, “you’ll do fine.”
As I took the shot I could see it heading directly for them.
“Fore!” I shouted as it smashed through the window.
“Are you some sort of fuскing rетаrd? screamed a bloke.
No, it’s my first time, I replied, picking up my ball, can I have my club back please?

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My wife claims I'm a baseball fanatic. She says all I ever read about is baseball. All I ever talk about is baseball. All I ever think about is baseball.
I told her she's way off base!

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I sent a player off in the first minute of a match today for deliberate handball.
He said, “You haven’t got a fuскing clue what you’re doing, ref.”
I said, “That’s what they all say… right lads, scrum down.”

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Why did the home crowd scream with delight when their favorite batter got three strikes?
He just happened to be bowling at the time.

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I was watching the London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another runner dressed as an egg...
I thought, "This could be interesting."

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After removing a tiny fish from his hook and throwing it back into the water, the fisherman said:
“Don’t show up around here anymore without your parents!”

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I’ve been banned from the local football field for causing a nasty injury in the game last night.
I don’t know why, my lawnmower clearly touched the ball before going over the player.

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Why did the golf player take an extra pair of pants when he went out on the golf course?
Just in case he got a hole in one.

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I hurt myself at crossFit today...
Now I find myself making crosses while sitting down...
I call it Cross-Sit!

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Why does it get hot after a baseball game?
Because all the fans leave.

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I heard Michael Schumacher’s former pit crew went to visit him.
They changed the wheels on his bed and drip in 5.4 seconds.

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Boys:
“Hey, can billy come out and play baseball?”
Mom:
“That’s not funny, you know billy doesn’t have any arms and legs”
Boys:
“I know, we need a third base”

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"Most Deadly Sport"
Playing chicken with a Train!

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I bet China can be the best baseball team, they took out the entire world with just a bat

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Why did the police 👮 go to a baseball ⚾️ game?
Because a player stole the base.

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What animal do you always find at a baseball game? A bat

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If you boil a funny воnе it becomes a laughing stock. That’s humerus.

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