Bob and Joe, two unemployed guys, are talking. Bob says, “I’m going to become a lion tamer.”
Joe replies, “That’s crazy, you don’t know nothing about no lion taming.”
“Yes I do!” exclaimed Bob.
“Well, OK, answer me this. When one of those lions comes at you all roaring and biting, what you gonna do?” asked Joe.
Bob answers, “Well, then I take that big chair they all carry, and I’ll stick it in his face until he backs down.”
“Well, what if the lion takes that big paw, and hooks the chair with them big claws, and throws that chair out of the cage? What do you do then?” counters Joe.
“Well, then I takes that whip they all carry, and I’ll whip him and whip him until he backs down.” says Bob.
Again Joe questions, “Well, what if that lion bites that whip with his big teeth, and bites it in two? What you gonna do then?”
“Well, then I’ll take that gun they all carry, and shoot him.” said Bob.
“Well, what if that gun doesn’t work? What will you do then?” Joe adds.
Bob says, “Well, then I’ll pick up some of the shiт that’s on the bottom of the cage, and I throw it in his eyes, and I run out of the cage.”
Joe obstinately asks, “Well, what if there ain’t no shiт in the bottom of the cage? What you gonna do then, huh?”
Bob smiles and says, “Well, that’s dumb. Cause if that lion comes at me, and he throws the chair out of the cage, and he bites the whip in two, and my gun don’t work, there’s going to be some shiт on the bottom of that cage, you can dамn well bet on that!”
Vun day, Sven vas valking down da street ven who did he see driving a brand new Chevrolet? It vas Ollie. Ollie pulled up to him vit a vide smile. …
… …
“Ollie, vere did ya get dat car?” Sven asked.
“Lena gave it to me”.
“She gave it to you? I knew she vas sveet on you, but dis?”.
“Vell, let me tell you vat happened. Ve vere driving out on county road 6, in da middle of novere. Lena pulled off da road into da woods. She parked, got out of da car, trew off alla her clothes and said, “Ollie take vatever you vant.”…So I took da car”
“Ollie, you’re a smart man, dem clothes never voulda fit ya.”