Stupid / Dumb Jokes

One day a man and a giraffe go to a pub they have a couple of drinks then on their way out the giraffe falls over and blocks the door the bar.
Man says "you can leave that lion here."
The man said "it's not a lion its a giraffe you idiot."

1

Your mama is so stupid, when she lost her dildo she called the cops to look for it.

1

You momma so stupid I see her walking the pigs down the street I'd asked "What she doing?" And she said "Going piggy back riding"!

1

"Yo momma so stupid she steals free bread!"

1

Why does the stupid man put ice in his condom?
To keep the swelling down.

22

Did you hear about the two dumb blonds who went two the drive in theater and froze two death they went two see closed for the winter?

23

Yo momma’s so stupid, when I told her it was chilly outside she ran and got a bowl.

24

Yo mamma so stupid she put her iPhone in the blender and thought it would turn into apple juice.

24

How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb?
200. Ten to attach the bulb to the sun, and 190 to make the sun revolve around the Earth.

34

Yo mama is so stupid that she bought curtains for her computer just because it had Windows.

40

One day, Little Johnny was with his father at home.
He asked:
"What does "evolution" mean?"
His father replied, "Figure it out."
Next day, at school, during a math test, a boy raised his hand:
"What's 289+308?"
The teacher said:
"Figure it out."
Ten minutes later, Little Johnny looked at the boy and said:
"Why don't you write "evolution"? Your teacher already told you!"

45

How can you tell that a blonde been baking chocolate chip cookies?
There are M&M shells all over the floor.

47

After a number of attempts to get the customer service agent on the phone to understand his name, my Asian American friend Appappa decided to spell it out.
"A for apple," he began. "P for pineapple, p for pineapple, a for apple, p for pineapple, p for—"
The flustered agent interrupted.
"I have a better idea," she said. "Just tell me how many apples and how many pineapples."

47

A man and his son went into a store.
The kid picked a USA flag and told his dad:
"Dad, I want this flag."
The man tells him:
"Nah, this looks too bright. Check if it's available in a different color."

48

A woman stopped by our customer-service desk and asked me for a copy of the book that has Jesus in it.
After much back-and-forth, I determined that she wanted the Bible.
After searching for a particular book on dinosaurs in the science section without luck, a customer looked to me for help.
She showed me a piece of paper with the title written on it: Thesaurus.

48

Standing in line at a restaurant, I noticed that the few available tables left had not been cleaned off.
I mentioned this to the cashier, who told the manager.
A minute later, an annoyed-looking teen emerged from the back with a spray bottle and paper towels in hand.
"All right," she bellowed clear across the crowded dining room, "which one of you people wanted a clean table?"

51

I posted a blonde joke on facebook accompanied by:
"For my blonde friends... an apology".
One of them responded.
"You don't have to apologise for having blonde friends."

51

A woman called the Colorado State Division of Wildlife regarding a snake in her backyard.
"Can you tell me what kind it is?" she asked.
"Can you describe it?" I asked.
"Yes," she said. "It's long and thin."

55

Yo mama is so stupid that when she got on a motorcycle she didn't know how to open the window.

68