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Вицове за Жени English Frauen-Witze, Frauenwitze, Fra... Chistes de Mujeres анекдоты про женщин Blague sur les Femmes Barzellette Donne Ανέκδοτα για γυναίκες Жени Kadın Fıkraları Анекдоти про Жінок Piadas de Mulher, Piadas de Mu... Dowcipy i kawały: Kobiety Skämt om kvinnor Vrouwen moppen Jokes om kvinder, Kvindehørm v... Vitser for damer, Vitser om kv... Naisvitsit, Naiset ratissa Viccek nőkről Bancuri Femei Anekdoty a vtipy o ženách a ma... Juokai apie Moteris Joki par sievietēm Vicevi o ženama
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You can tell a lot about a woman from her ankles. – If they are on your shoulders, she probably likes you.
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Une jeune fille se rend compte qu’elle a des poils qui poussent entre ses jambes. 12 годишната Яна започват да и растат косми между краката и притеснено пита майка си. Майка и спокойно и обяснява Ein 12-jähriges Mädchen bemerkt Une fille à sa mère - Maman pourquoi j'ai des poils qui poussent entre les jambes ? - C'est normal c'est ton petit singe qui grandit. La petite fille va voir sa sœur et lui dit. - Tu sais j'ai mon petit singe qui grandit. - C'est bien le mien il mange déjà des bananes. Due bambine sotto la doccia: "Ehi A girl realized that she had grown hair between her legs. She got worried and asked her mom about that hair. Her mom calmly said: "That part where the hair has grown is called Monkey Zwei Mädchen begegnen sich vor dem Schwimmunterricht im Duschraum. Sagt die eine: "Hey Zwei Mädchen unter der Dusche: "Hey Truusje komt aanlopen en zegt tegen haar moeder “Mam Een tiener meisje komt thuis en zegt tegen haar moeder: 'Mam Twee meisjes zitten samen op een bed.. Zegt de ene tegen de ander: "Kijk DAUGHTER: Mum! MUM: Whats wrong? DAUGHTER: I am worried. MUM: Why are you? DAUGHTER: Hair is growing here (between my legs). MUM: Wow! that place where hair is growing is "monkey" Annie zegt:mamma ik krijg haar op me pruim! Mamma:nee annie je moet dat zo niet zeggen dan zeg je ik krijg haar op me aapje Annie:ik wacht op mijn groetere zus en vertel het haar Komt de grote zus... Duas goratas passeano na praia de copacabana Na net dus jovens conversam: — Ai fofa A girl notices hair in between her legs A little girl walks up to her mom and says my monkey is growing hair Later that day the little girl tells her older sister and here's the older sisters replie my monkey is already eating bananas... Certa vez Duas meninas tomando banho Tinha duas meninas tomando banho juntas Uma de 13 anos e a outra de 14 Ai a de 13 fala para a de 14: — Olha A menina Lucia estava no banho e tinha esquecido de pegar o sabonete Uma vez UM dia a mãe chegou e viu a filha na frente do espelho pelada e a mãe disse: — Nossa como sua macaca está cabeluda a filha disse: — Ela já está até comendo banana. A loira entava no quarto da filha emquanto entava trocando de roupa. E a mãe loira disse para a filha minha filha voçe esta com a macaquinha peluda. E ai a filha responde. Mãe voçe esta por fora... Sabe o que a garotinha de 12 anos falou pra de20 e a de 20 anos falou pra de 12? 12 anos: E minha macaquinha ta criando cabelo. A de 20: E a minha já ta comendo banana A mãe chega no quarto Duas amigas de 14 anos estavão tomando banho juntas Duas adolescentes conversando: — Flavinha Uma adolescente olha para outra e diz:Amiga a minha macaquinha já esta criando cabelo. A amiga responde:Isso não é nada En jente var bekymret for at hun hadde fått hår mellom bena. Hun spurte moren om håret hennes. Moren hennes sa rolig: "Den delen hvor håret har vokst heter Monkey Da jenta kom i puberteten gikk hun til sin mor å sa
A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair. So she told her sister and her sister said that aint nothing mines already eating bananas
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What do you call a girl with an hourglass figure? – A waist of time.
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Woman Almost Dies After learning what accountability is
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- Regarde chéri
- Look, honey, I'm pregnant! We're going to have 37.8 children! - You just peed on a thermometer, sweetheart.
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Как да си уловите мъж Како да си фатите маж Cómo atrapar a un hombre Как поймать себе мужчину Wie man sich einen Mann angelt Comment attraper un homme Πώς να πιάσετε έναν άντρα Come catturarsi un uomo Kendinize nasıl bir adam yakalarsınız Як зловити собі чоловіка Como apanhar um homem Jak złapać sobie faceta Hur man fångar en man Ное je een man vangt Hvordan fange en mand Hvordan fange en mann Kuinka napata mies Hogyan fogj magadnak egy férfit Сuм să-ți prinzi un bărbat Jak si chytit muže Kaip pagauti vyrą Kā noķert vīrieti Kako uloviti muškarca
How to catch yourself a man
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Жена ми се захвана с градинарство... Чудя се какво ли ще засади. Жена ми почна да се бави со градинарство... Се прашувам што ли ќе засади. Mi esposa empezó a dedicarse a la jardinería... Me pregunto qué irá a plantar. Моя жена занялась садоводством... Интересно Meine Frau hat mit dem Gärtnern angefangen... Ich frage mich Ma femme s’est mise au jardinage... Je me demande ce qu’elle va planter. Η γυναίκα μου άρχισε την κηπουρική... Αναρωτιέμαι τι θα φυτέψει. Mia moglie ha iniziato a fare giardinaggio... Mi chiedo cosa pianterà. Eşim bahçeciliğe başladı... Ne ekeceğini merak ediyorum. Моя дружина зайнялася садівництвом... Цікаво A minha esposa começou a dedicar-se à jardinagem... Pergunto-me o que vai plantar. Moja żona zajęła się ogrodnictwem... Zastanawiam się Min fru har börjat med trädgårdsarbete... Jag undrar vad hon ska plantera. Mijn vrouw is begonnen met tuinieren... Ik vraag me af wat ze gaat planten. Min kone er begyndt at dyrke have... Jeg spekulerer på Kona mi har begynt med hagearbeid... Jeg lurer på hva hun skal plante. Vaimoni alkoi harrastaa puutarhanhoitoa... Mietin A feleségem kertészkedni kezdett... Kíváncsi vagyok Soția mea s-a apucat de grădinărit... Mă întreb ce o să planteze. Moje žena se začala věnovat zahradničení... Zajímalo by mě Mano žmona ėmėsi sodininkystės... Įdomu Mana sieva sākusi nodarboties ar dārzkopību... Brīnos Moja žena se počela baviti vrtlarstvom... Pitam se što će zasaditi.
My wife took up gardening... I wonder what she's going to plant.
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Зад всеки успял мъж стои жена
Behind every successful man there is a woman.
Because women don't run behind unsuccessful men
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Women's logic
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Жена отива на гости на родителите на нейния приятел. A young man presents his fiancée to his parent. At the table
A woman goes to her boyfriend's parents' house for dinner. This is her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal.
The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making her eyes water. Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty little fаrт. It wasn't loud, but everyone at the table heard the роот. Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend's father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing at the women's feet, and said in a rather stern voice,
"Gingеr!"
The woman thought, "This is great!" and a big smile came across her face. A couple minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again. This time, she didn't hesitate. She let a much louder and longer fаrт rip. The father again looked at the dog and yelled,
"Dаммiт, Gingеr!" Once again the woman smiled and thought,
"Yes!"
A few minutes later the woman had to let another one rip. This time she didn't even think about it. She let rip a fаrт that rivaled a train whistle blowing. Again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled,
"Dаммiт, Gingеr, get away from her before she shiтs on you!"
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It was Christmas Eve. A woman came home to her husband after a day of busy shopping. Later on that night when she was getting undressed for bed, he noticed a mark on the inside of her leg. "What is that?" he asked. She said, "I visited the tattoo parlor today. On the inside of one leg I had them tattoo 'Merry Christmas,' and on the inside of the other one they tattooed 'Happy New Year.'" Perplexed, he asked, "Why did you do that?"
"Well," she replied, "now you can't complain that there's never anything to eat between Christmas and New Years!"
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A man asks, “God, why did you make woman so beautiful?” God responded, ”So you would love her.” The man asks, “But God, why did you make her so dumb?” God replied, “So she would love you.”
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A computer science student is studying under a tree and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, “Where’d you get that?”
The student on the bike replies, “While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, “You can have anything you want.””
The first student responds, “Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you.”
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If a girl ever pulls a knife out on you during an argument, pull out some bread and mayo. Her woman instincts will kick in and she'll make you a sandwich.
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A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
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So i was sitting on the couch with a woman,and i asked her,does this napkin smell like chloroform?
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Happiness is everywhere, you just need to look closely
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Казах му Му реков дека сум била во врска со физичко и психичко малтретирање Le dije que había estado en una relación abusiva física y mentalmente Я сказала ему Ich sagte ihm Je lui ai dit que j'avais été dans une relation abusive physiquement et mentalement Του είπα ότι ήμουν σε μια σωματικά και ψυχολογικά κακοποιητική σχέση Gli hо detto che ero stata in una relazione abusiva fisicamente e mentalmente Fiziksel ve zihinsel olarak istismar edici bir ilişkide olduğumu söyledim Сказала йому Disse-lhe que tinha estado numa relação abusiva física e mentalmente Powiedziałam mu Jag sa att jag varit i en fysiskt och psykiskt kränkande relation Ik vertelde hem dat ik in een fysiek en mentaal gewelddadige relatie had gezeten Jeg sagde til ham Jeg sa til ham at jeg hadde vært i et fysisk og psykisk voldelig forhold Sanoin hänelle olleeni fyysisesti ja henkisesti hyväksikäyttävässä suhteessa Mondtam neki I-am spus că am fost într-o relație abuzivă fizic și psihic Řekla jsem mu Pasakiau jam Teicu viņam Rekla sam mu da sam bila u vezi punoj fizičkog i psihičkog zlostavljanja
Told him I used to be in a physically and mentally abusive relationship, and now he's hugging me like *I* was the victim.
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