An American, a Cuban, a Russian, and a lawyer are sitting on a subway train, in the same seat. The Cuban pulls out a Cuban cigar for each person, and hands it out. The Cuban takes one рuff of his cigar, and he throws it out the window. Everybody but the Cuban goes mad. ¨You just wasted an expensive Cuban cigar! How could you?¨ The Cuban simply says, ¨See, in Cuba, cigars are very cheap.¨ The other passengers are reassured and respond with, ¨Oh, OK.¨
The Russian takes out a small bottle of Russian vоdка and pours a shot for all the passengers. The Russian downs his shot, and throws the vоdка bottle out the window. The rest of the passengers are alarmed, once again. ¨You just destroyed an expensive bottle of Russian vоdка! How could you?¨ The Russian simply states, ¨See, in Russia, vоdка is very cheap.¨ Yet again, the other passengers are reassured and respond with, ¨Ah, yes! Of course.¨
The American scratches his head and goes, ¨I think I see the pattern here.¨ So he takes the lawyer, and he throws him out the window!¨
I'm driving from Santa Fe to Albuquerque when I see an American Indian lying on the road with his ear to the ground. Curious, I pull over, walk up to him and ask, "Excuse me, what are you doing?" He says,
"Silver 1991 Chevy station wagon, one man, one woman, two children". I say, "Wow, you can tell all that just by listening to the road?" He says,
"Heck no, they just ran me over".
A cowboy finds himself captured by a tribe of Native Americans…
Anywhooo, the Natives tell the cowboy since he is their enemy they must put him to death. But, as is their custom, they won’t do so until he has spent 3 nights in their camp and each night, they shall grant him a wish.
As the first day, he says “I wish to speak to my horse again”. They say fine and he goes and whispers something to the horse. The horse takes off running. A few hours later, the horse returns with a beautiful nакеd blonde woman. The cowboy takes the woman into the woods and makes love to her all night.
The 2nd day, he says “I wish to speak to my horse.” They say fine and he goes and whispers something to the horse. The horse takes off running. A few hours later, the horse returns with a beautiful nакеd brunette woman. The cowboy takes the woman into the woods and makes love to her all night.
The 3rd day, the Native’s tell him… “this is your last night alive, choose your wish wisely”
He replies…”Okay, I’d like to speak to my horse again.”
He goes over to his horse, but he is so fired up, he can’t whisper anymore and he screams at his horse “Dамn it….I’m saying Posse!!!!!”
A redneck is hiking through the woods with two Native Americans. They happen across a cave. one of the Natives yells, "Whoop! Whoop!"
Another voice calls from the cave. "Whoop! Whoop!"
The man strips nакеd and runs into the cave.
"What was all that about?" The redneck asks.
The other Native explains, "It's our mating ritual. A woman who is ready to mate will wait in a cave. If we come across a cave, we yell inside. If we hear a call back, we know we can go in and mate with her."
A few minutes later, they come across another cave. "Whoop! Whoop!"
"Whoop! Whoop!"
Without hesitation, the second Native took off his clothes and ran inside.
All alone, the redneck continued on his way. Eventually, he came across a very large cave. *There must be a large, beautiful woman in here!* He thought. "Whoop! Whoop!"
"Whoooop! Whooooop!"
*Wow, she's got a voice. Sounds like she's larger and beautifuler than I imagined!* He strips off his clothes and runs into the cave.
\--- The next day, the headline in the newspaper read:
Naked redneck run over by train.