College student
1. If you have ever price shopped for Top Ramen, you might be a college student.
2. If you live in a house with three couches, none of which match.
3. If you consider Mac and Cheese a balanced meal.
4. If you have ever written a check for 45 cents.
5. If you have a fine collection of domestic вееr bottles.
6. If you have ever seen two consectutive sunrises without sleeping.
7. If your glass set is composed of McDonald's Extra Value Meal Plastic Cups (ie.Olympic Dream Team I or II).
8. If your underwear supply dictates the time between laundry loads.
9. If you cannot remember when you last washed your car.
10. If you can pack your worldly possesions into the back of a pick-up (one trip).
11. If you have ever had to justify yourself for buying Natural Light.
12. If the first thing you do in the morning is roll over and introduce yourself.
13. If you average less than 3 hours of sleep a night.
14. If your trash is overflowing and your bank account isn't
15. If you go to Wal-Mart more than 3 times a week
16. If you eat at the cafeteria because it's "free", even though it tastes terrible.
17. If you are personally keeping the local pizza place from bankruptcy
18. If you wake up 10 minutes before class
19. If you wear the same jeans 13 days in a row -- without washing them
20. If your breakfast consists of a coke on the way to class
21. If your social life consists of a date with the library
22. If your idea of "doing your hair" is putting on a baseball cap
23. If it takes a shovel to find the floor of your room
24. If you carry less than a dollar on you at all times because that's all you have
25. If you haven't done laundry in so long you are wearing your swim suit to class
26. If your midnight snack is microwave popcorn
27. If you celebrate when you find a quarter
28. If your room is so cold that your toilet freezes over
29. If your walls are plastered with posters of half nакеd men or women (whichever your preference)
30. If you have built up a tolerence for beverages (he he he)
31. If you wear a sweat suit for so long that it stands up by itself
32. If your backpack is giving you Scoliosis
33. If you get more sleep in class than in your room
34. If your idea of feeding the poor is buying yourself some Ramen Noodles
35. If you can sleep through your roommate's blaring stereo
36. If you live in an area that is smaller than most mobile homes
37. If you get more e-mail than mail.

Freshman: Is never in bed past noon.
Senior: Is never out of bed before noon.

Freshman: Reads the syllabus to find out what classes he can cut.
Senior: Reads the syllabus to find out what classes he needs to attend.

Freshman: Brings a can of soda into a lecture hall.
Senior: Brings a jumbo hoagie and six-pack of Mountain Dew into a recitation class.

Freshman: Calls the professor "Teacher."
Senior: Calls the professor "Bob."

Freshman: Would walk ten miles to get to class.
Senior: Drives to class if it's more than three blocks away.

Freshman: Memorizes the course material to get a good grade.
Senior: Memorizes the professor's habits to get a good grade.

Freshman: Knows a book-full of useless trivia about the university.
Senior: Knows where the next class is. Usually.

Freshman: Shows up at a morning exam clean, perky, and fed.
Senior: Shows up at a morning exam in sweats with a cap on and a box of pop tarts in hand.

Freshman: Has to ask where the computer labs are.
Senior: Has own personal workstation.

Freshman: Lines up for an hour to buy his textbooks in the first week.
Senior: Starts to think about buying textbooks in October... maybe.

Freshman: Looks forward to first classes of the year.
Senior: Looks forward to first вееr garden of the year.

Freshman: Is proud of his A+ on Calculus I midterm.
Senior: Is proud of not quite failing his Complex Analysis midterm.

Freshman: Calls his girlfriend back home every other night.
Senior: Calls Domino's every other night.

Freshman: Is appalled at the class size and callousness of professors.
Senior: Is appalled that the campus 'Subway' burned down over the summer.

Freshman: Conscientiously completes all homework, including optional questions.
Senior: Homework? I knew I forgot to do something last night.

Freshman: Goes on grocery-shopping trip with Mom before moving onto campus.
Senior: Has a вееr with Mom before moving into group house.

Freshman: Is excited about the world of possibilities that awaits him, the unlimited vista of educational opportunities, the chance to expand one's horizons and really make a contribution to society.
Senior: Is excited about new dryers in laundry room.

Freshman: Takes meticulous four-color notes in class.
Senior: Occasionally stays awake for all of class.