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Вицове свързани с компютри English Computer-Witze, Computerwitze,... Chistes y anécdotas informátic... Анекдоты про компьютер Blague informatique, Blague W... Barzellette Computer Ανέκδοτα για υπολογιστές Вицеви за компјутери Bilgisayarlar hakkında fıkrala... Анекдоти комп'ютерні Piadas sobre computadores Dowcipy i kawały: Komputery Dataskämt och IT-vitsar Computer Moppen, Computer humo... Vittigheder om computere Datavitser Tietokonevitsit Számítástechnika viccek Bancuri Calculatoare, Bancuri ... Vtipy o počítačích Anekdotai apie kompiuteri, Kom... Anekdotes par programmētājiem ... Kompjuterski vicevi
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Computers

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Windows: Artificial Intelligence!
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The monitor is up on blocks.
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What do you get if you cross a computer with a herb?
A thyme machine.
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The stock market really plummeted today, but luckily there is a computer chip that is used to turn off the board if it gets too low.
The Cubs have the same chip in there scoreboard.
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In a car there are two persons: a car mechanic and a programmer.
They where going to work when suddenly the car broke down.
The car mechanic tries to make the car work again but no solution.
Suddenly the programmer says:
"I say we better FORMAT it!"
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With searching comes loss And the presence of absence: ‘My Novel’ not found.
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The extra RAM slots have tractor parts stored in them.
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Bill Gates is judged for bigamy.
He says:
If you live with two women’s it does not mean bigamy, it means multitasking.
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El inmigrante y el trabajo bien pagado Απόφοιτος του Harvard Палестинец завършил право в САЩ. Циганин отива в бюрото по труда: 3000 лв заплата На интервју за работа: Ein fünfzigjähriger Langzeitarbeitsloser kommt zum Arbeitsamt und möchte einen Job. Das Fräulein am Schalter: Un immigrato clandestino si reca da Salvini e lo impreca disperato: "La prego The young accounting graduate Kommt ein Trabifahrer in eine West-Autowerkstatt und fragt den Meister: "Sagen Sie mal Un hombre entra en la oficina del INEM y se encuentra con el funcionario de turno leyendo el periódico con los pies encima de la mesa. Muy educadamente le pregunta: - Hola Auf dem Arbeitsamt: "Ich hätte gerne eine Stelle." Der Berater sprudelt drauf los: "Vielleicht wäre das etwas! 5.000 Euro netto Aquele advogado recém-formado estava sendo entrevistado para um emprego. — E quais são suas pretensões salariais? — perguntou o entrevistador Ein Arbeitsloser kommt auf das Arbeitsamt und fragt dort den Bediensteten: "Haben Sie Arbeit für mich?" "Sicher doch!" antwortet der Un signore disoccupato si reca al centro per l'impiego della sua città per cercare un'occupazione. Arrivato il suo turno si rivolge all'impiegato: "Buongiorno En katt som kom in på arbetsförmedlingen och frågade om det fanns nått jobb till honom. Musen bakom disken svarade: - Ja Er komt een allochtoon bij bij een uitzendbureau. De allochtoon vraagt 'ik wil graag aan het werk Marokkaan Abdel komt binnen bij de baas van een groot bedrijf. Abdel : 'Ik hier werken willen !' Baas : 'Goed Ein junger Türke kommt ins Sozialamt Przychodzi absolwent wyższej uczelni do biura pośrednictwa pracy i pyta: - Czy jest praca dla absolwenta? - Oczywiście Det var en indvandrer der kom ind på arbejdsformidlingen og sagde - "ha' du arbejd til mig?" - "ja Een Turk komt bij het arbeidsbureau en zegt: “Kan ik een baan krijgen? Ik wil graag werken.” “Tuurlijk Adamın biri iş başvurusunda bulunmuş. Görüşmeye çağırmışlar; görüşme sonuna doğru ortalama bir tip olan adama yöneticisi sormuş; - Peki beklentilerin ne? seni ne tatmin eder? Arkadaş saymaya... A cigány bemegy egy állásközvetítőhöz és mondja: Szeretnék dolgozni magas gázsival és rugalmas munkaidővel! A titkárnő ezt mondja: - Pont van egy önnek megfelelő állás Přijde cikán na úřad práce Un negru se duce la oficiul fortelor de munca din Africa de Sud. - Buna ziua! As dori un loc de munca. - Sigur Un disoccupato incallito un giorno si presenta all'ufficio di collocamento e chiede: - Vorrei un posto di lavoro dove si guadagni molto Pod koniec rozmowy o pracę Darba intervijā: - Un kāds būtu aptuvenais atalgojums
Reaching the end of a j ob interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, "And what starting salary are you looking for?"
The engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."
The interviewer inquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?"
The engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?"
The interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it."
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Yo mamma so sтuрid her password needed 8 characters, so she typed "Snow White and the 7 dwarfs
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Bad command or file name.
Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay!
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Q: What do you call a computer expert?
A: A control-alt-elite.
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Outgoing e-mails have tobacco stains on them.
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The six front keys have rotted out.
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A computer science student is studying under a tree and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, “Where’d you get that?”
The student on the bike replies, “While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, “You can have anything you want.””
The first student responds, “Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you.”
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A wife and husband was setting up their computer and the husband makes the password my diск, but the wife fell on the floor laughing because the computer said the password was too short.
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Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 10. He replied, “I still love Vista, baby”.
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Dear maintene When i wrote that code only i and god knew what it was Now only God knows
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