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There was a kid who wouldn't learn the letters of the alphabet, so his teacher said 'go home, and learn the letters!' He went home and asked his sister
"What's the first letter?"
She said "Shut up!"
Then he asked "what's the second letter?"
She was singing along with the radio, so she said "Yeah, yeah, yeah!"
Then he went to see his dad, who was watching football, and said "What's the third letter?"
His dad said "Go! Go! Go!"
"What's the fourth letter?"
"64! 64! 64!" Then he went to see his brother, who was watching TV, and said "What's the sixth letter?"
His brother ignored him while watching TV and said "na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na BATMAN!"
The next day the teacher said. "Okay, what's the first letter?"
"Shut up!"
"Are you trying to get in trouble?"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah!"
"Do you want to go to the principal's office?"
"Go! Go! Go!"
"How many spankings do you want?
"64! 64! 64!"
"Who do you think you are?"
"Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na BATMAN!"
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A crab and a lobster are secretly dating. Pretty soon, the lobster tires of the lying and tells her father, who then forbids her to see the crab anymore.
“It’ll never work, honey.” he says to her. “Сrавs walk sideways and we walk straight.”
“Please,” she begs her father. “Just meet him once. I know you’ll like him.”
Her father finally relents and agrees to a one-time meeting, and she runs off to share the good news with her crab sweetie.
The crab is so excited he decides to surprise his beloved’s family.
He practices and practices until he can finally walk straight!
On the BIG day, he walks the entire way to the lobster’s house as straight as he can.
Standing on the porch, and seeing the crab walking towards him, the lobster dad yells to his daughter…..
“I knew it! Here comes that crab and he’s drunк!”
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A 4-year-old kid was at school and his teacher told him that his homework was to learn the first four letters of the alphabet. At home his mum was on the phone when he asked her what’s the first letter of the alphabet so she said “Shut up.” His dad was watching a football match when the kid asked him about the second letter of the alphabet so he said “YES YES YES!!!” because his favorite team had just scored. His brother was playing Bat-Man when the kid asked him what’s the third letter of the alphabet so he said “Na na na na na na na na BATMAN!!!!” and the kid went away, happy. His 2 and 3/4 year old sisters playing with her dolls when he asked her about the fourth letter of the alphabet so she said “On my voom voom car.” The next day at school when his teacher asked him for the first letter of the alphabet he said Shut Up, so the teacher asked him if he wanted to go to the principal’s office, and he said YES YES YES!!! At the principal’s office the principle asked him “Who do you think you are?” the kid replied “Na na na na na na na na BATMAN!!!!” so the principle said “How are you going to get out of this mess?” And the kid replied “On my voom voom car”
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I t’s career day at school and the teacher instructs his students each to stand up, state their parents occupation, spell it and then tell what their parent would do if they were here today.
Little Rodney stands up and says, ” my father is an accountant, A-C-C-O-U-N-T- A-N-T, and if he were here today, he would help you balance your checkbook”.
“Good Rodney” says the teacher, “how about you, Johnny?'”
Johnny stands up and stammers, “my father is an electrician, E-L-E-K-T, no, no,E-L-E-C-K-T no …. L-E-C-K- no….
The teacher interrupts, “never mind Johnny, sit down, how about you Vinnie?”
Vinnie stands up and says, “My dad’s a воокiе, that’s B-O-O-K-I-E, and if he were here today he’d give you ten to one odds that there’s no way Johnny’s ever gonna spell electrician!”
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